A Hand to Hold for Always
by candigirltnt
Summary: You'll laugh, You cry ,you start to realise that all great love stories started of with friendship.
1. Chapter 1 Adam

BPOV

Hey this is Edward, I'm afraid I have gotten some bad news ,  
Call me when you get this message.

Edward Cullen now that was indeed a surprise considering we had been at war of and on for over a year , funny how I can't even recall what the fight this time was about I think it was about jacob again but who knows.

Who keeps track of the causes anymore they've had so many fights over the years it's hard to keep them on file and he'd never been the one to call first seeing it as a sign of weakness and anyone who knows Edward knows that he'd die before showing weakness especially to her so why would her arch nemesis be calling her. Edward hr best friend and worst enermy all rolled into one, he knew everything about her and usually used it to his advantage it was a game we played and needless to say we played it well. I can't help but laugh remembering the time I told his Flavor of the month I think her name was Sally that he had a wife and child living in Forks, she couldn't get out of the resturant fast enough not that it mattered girls didn't seem to last long with Edward,he got bored quickly,him being a total ass didn't help matters and that idiot had no brain to mouth filter he said what he felt like when he felt it yet still the girls came running in there numbers and Edward was happy to have every last one of them. What a whore I thought with a smile but that whore happened to be my best friend and I loved him even though I hated him sometimes and he drove me to want to dig my eyes out. not to mention that ass was a relentless cockblocker if I died a virgin it will be because of him. We were quite the pair the virgin and the whore I mused.

What was he up to now I wonder. The sound of the telephone ringing got her back to reality.

"Hello Isabella Swan's office how can I help you?"I answered the phone with a smile on my face still thinking about Edward's and my strange relationship

"Well for starters you can answer your fucking messages once in a while,How you keep that job of yours is beyond me" Blasted a very annoyed Edward. "Hello Edward, How are you today I see you are still your charming self, What seems to be the problem now" I asked trying to be extra chipper because he got totally pissed when I did that and I lived to piss that fucker off.

"Bella I think you should sit down" and after a short pause from Edward "are you sitting" He added I wish He'd just get to it he was making me nervous , "yes I'm sitting well out with it already"I muttered .

"Bella,Adam killed himself last night some sort of girlfriend problems that's all I know at the moment so I think you should go home pack your bag because I've arranged a flight for us in the next two hour. Bella , Issy are you there? Are you OK?" He asked his voice filled with concern this wasn't easy for him, and I was trying to find words but none came.I was in shock I had pictures of a smiling laughing Adam floating around in my head and I just couldn't undrstand how this had happend and what do you really say when someone tells you one of your closes friend has died because no one told me and I sure as hell didn't have the words.

"I'm sorry love to have to tell you over the phone and all but I've still got some stuff to arrange before we leave and you know I've never been good with tears, I've always hated to see you vulnerable so take some time to get it together and I'll see you at the airport " Edward whispered tring to comfort me yet not knowing exactly how to do that being the emotional black hole that he is but I appreciated the effort.

"I'll fax the flight arrangement to your secretary now OK. Bella, Bella snap out of it. Bella are you OK" He added oviously not comfortable in the role he'd been cast in and I know it would have been easier for him to just let Alice call me because god knows she's better at this but he wanted to tell me himself even though it had to be hard for him Adam had been his Best friend since they were five."I'm fine Edward or I will be when the shock wears out. How about you? How are you holding up?" I asked knowing the answer before he enven said it but you still needed the words to be said.

"Better than expected to tell you the truth, we'll talk later bye Love" He answered panicing that maybe I'd start a heart to heart wih him that was like on his top ten of wost things Bella can do list. "Bye Edward" I whispered as I hung up the phone my hands were shaking and I was trying so hard to hold back the tears if I allowed them to fall I didn't know when they would stop and I needed my control now so I could arrange everything before I left. I placed my hands over my face wondering how we got here to this point in our lives where we bearly knew each other anymore.

The three of us had met when they were eleven at summer camp the friendship with Adam had been instant He was so easy to talk to once you got over his shyness, he was an amazing person,  
When we were eleven we would talk for hours about everything and anything,Adam was the best friend you always wished for but with Adam came Edward they'd been friends since birth so it was inevitable that I had to put up with Edward. Adam and I developed an effortless friendship over the years,

My friendship with Edward was the opposite, it took a different road sometimes it felt more like hatred than friendship but that's how it always was but there was no denying that there was nobody who knew me as well as he did and in times of trouble there would be none that I'd want by my side but him.

They had one fucked up friendships but it worked for them some way alone the journey of growing up Adam got left behind it was never intentional it just sort of happened,not that this best friend thing she had with Edward was all sunshine and roses either far from it it was at most times a living hell because they knew each other too well and would frequently call each other out on their bullshit which was the reason they were frequently at war.

I began to felt so guilty I stole his best friend, I stole his best friend all those years ago,yes we were all still friends but

Edward was the one I called at two o'clock in the morning when my life was going up in smoke and my grades suck just like I was his when he had his problems with school or he couldn't sleep or was wondering if he made the right choice to go into medicine or when he had his female issues and trust Edward had female issues regularly. How did we reach here and how was it that Adam was no longer referee to our insane relationship.  
Adam was gone and I had not a clue as to why Adam would kill himself,there was a time when I knew everything about his life and now six years later I knew next to nothing.  
The first tear trickle down my face as the shock wore off and the pain came to take it's place.

Adam was gone and I don't get to tell him all the things I should have like I loved him and he was always my rock the constant in my ever changing world but the words so many words was coming too late. I just never thought he needed the words,I always thought he knew how I felt.

I was crying now and no matter how much I tried to be in control of them I couldn't stop the tears so I just gave up trying.

I'd wallow for a min or two then go home and pack to go face the family. I was total not ready for this this hurt, this pain, this guilt I had failed him,I had failed to be there when he needed me and It was too late for sorry now way too late


	2. Chapter 2 And so it begins

Here I was home again I took a deep breath trying to calm myself ,It felt strange like time had somehow reversed and I was still the clumsy teenager I use to be. It was all so very familiar it made the pain of Adam's death that much more painful because this was the place where our friendship had it had grown and changed and it was here too that it was lost. My heart was breaking from the guilt of not being there for Adam,for allowing our friendship to wither and fade into the back ground of life. Regret was sure to come when I was alone and with them the tidal wave of grief I was holding back.

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Edward

Edward was fighting his own demons like Bella being here made it all so real. The shock was wearing off and the sadness was taking it's place. Edward wasn't use to sadness it was an emotion he was never very comfortable with , he tried to avoid it as much as he could but there was no escaping this,he owed it to his friend to face this head on in fact he owed Adam much more that that,He sighed. How did this all happen?

How did he lose Adam?

He felt like a coward for wanting to take the next flight any way but here but he really could not help it . He need to find out what really happened,make sense out of it all and be there for Adam's mother. They walked out of the airport with troubled looks on their faces both having a strange sense of deja vu it had been six years since they'd left it all looked just the same. It was early evening and already the lights were fading into a sea of red and orange shade it was beautiful reminding them of summer days long past when it was the three of them against the world now there was only the two of them.

He was glad Bella was there with him he didn't know how he'd make it through the next week without her. He gentle took her hands in his and she turned to give him a sad smile this was just as hard for her as it was for him. He searched to find words of comfort but all he could come up with was that things would be ok,no matter what, they'd get through it together and they shared and quick hug surrounded by a sea of people walking past. Well let's see if we can find Emmett shall we.

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Bella

Edward spotted his brother in the crowd of waiting people and waved him over. It was hard to miss the similarity in the brothers they were both built the same way Except Emmett was a little taller and muscular than Edward ,they both had the same smile. Damn that smile had a way of melting your heart they both had the some devastatingly handsome genes and both were all too aware of their effect on the opposite sex but that's where the similarity ended. Where Emmett was funny and easy to talk too, Edward was arrogant and dark, hurtful even if it suited his purpose. Nope Edward was the bad mysterious Cullen brother that no one could figure out completely and for some reason girls really liked that about him,I guess they all wanted to save him from himself or some shit like that.

Edward Cullen left a trail of broken hearts everywhere he went but it was here that his elusive heart was broken by _she who will not be named_ the experience had left his bitter and had almost killed their friendship six years ago, back then _she who who would not be name_ made him choose love over his friendship with Bella. He chose love but it was a mistake less than a month after she'd cheated on him and broke his heart and Bella had to come help pick up the pieces,

Edward had never been the same. She killed a part of him that day to the world Edward would seem the same like he was over it that life was good for him and he had not a care in the world but he wasn't over it and as much as he tried to hide it Bella saw right through him and she knew he was thinking about the reason He'd been away from home for so long because coming home meant facing Tanya the bitch who broke his heart without reason. Bella could never figure him out completely but she knew Edward better than she ever wanted to and that was the cross she has to bare and this week would be hard not just because of Adam's death but because they both would have to face problems they had ran away from six years ago. Bella would have to talk it out with her father after all these years right back where they started hopefully they were wiser and stronger that they had been at seventeen. Emmett gave her a big hug and knocked all thoughts from her mind. "Hey Bella it's been too long where have you been hiding all these years" Emmett beamed obviously checking me out.I knew I looked different I was no longer the clumsy Bella he use to know. "I've been working hard lately sorry it took me so long to make it back here" I sighed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Edward

Edward gave her a look, translation for anyone who wasn't mime being he didn't believe a word that came out of her mouth,apparently she was going to be doing some lying this week and he didn't approve of it one bit . Of course he knew the real reason she'd never came back and it wasn't work related but he kept his silence it wouldn't help to start fighting with Bella so soon. They had days left to go and they were sure to get into it a dozen time between now and then so he'd hold his peace for now.

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Bella

She saw the smirk and knew instantly what he was thinking daring him to start the argument that she'd never make him win.

She would love to hate Edward it would be so easy, in fact it would be like second nature but behind all that hate and animosity there was love and friendship and understanding. There was none who could take his place in her life,He was a constant a unmovable force that kept her grounded, her rock so to speak and she was his but he resented it with everything in him not wanting to be vulnerable to anyone,it was all very amusing the workings of Edward's brain so illogical and twisted.

It took a while to get use to the roads and lanes that were once so familiar to her,the light flow of traffic compared to the streets of New York City,the easy nature of the people . She was really home they where headed to Edward's home where they'd change and go to Adam's where they'd stay the night. She hadn't even called her mom yet to let her know she was home.I guess that speaks volumes as to the state of their relationship at present but that was the facts of life her life and she could not change that but she'd try to bridge the gap as best she could while she was here. It's not that they really had a problem with them there was just a lot left unsaid for far too long and it now stood like a wall dividing them. Charlie aka dad wasn't happy with her moving to New York city to attend Columbia university they thought it was all Edward's influence that made her pick Columbia and not a college closer to home but it wasn't Edward not really she just needed to be away from the dynamics that made up the Swan household. Rennie and Charlie aka the parents had taken in Tanya when her parents had died in a car accident when she was fifteen. Yeah wasn't that the most fucked up thing ever the bitch that made Edward the heartless, emotional vacant being that he now was was related to me and the daughter my parents always wanted apposed to me the black sheep that didn't like shopping with Rennie and hated fishing with Charlie. She fitted right in with my family and I got left out I felt like the step child and needed sometime way.

How do you tell your parents that you feel like they didn't love you enough to make you want to stay,at least this way they didn't feel guilty and they were still under the disillusion that I left Forks because of Edward. Oh yeah they also thought that Edward and I were together as in I've seen his dick (aka Caesar) already which I haven't. Where they got that idea from hell if I know but I'd guess it was coming from Tanya and I was so not up for dealing with that shit right now. So as far as the whole parents situation stood I could totally ignoring it for now.

It felt good to be home,I was so relax enjoying the warm evening breeze,breathing in the cool clean air,realizing I was home after so long. Edward's mom Esme was waiting for us as Emmett drove into the garage. She rushed out to greet us.I'd always loved this woman,she'd always been like a mother too me and I know she considered me one of her own. She'd been begging me for years to come back home it always broke my heart to tell her no.

She hugged Edward I could see how happy she was to have him there to finally have him home now why couldn't I have the same thing with my parents and then Esme made her way to me there was tears of joy in her eyes happy to see us home but sad to know the reason we'd come after so long. She held my hand and lead me to the front door,Edward rolled his eyes at me instantly annoyed by this latest display of affection between his mother and I. Forget him He's always been jealous hasn't he. She said with a smile not taking her son seriously. I gave her shoulders a squeeze partly to annoy him and partly because I missed her so much.

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Edward

It was hard to explain why this effected him this love between his mother and Bella. He knew that he and his mother had a special relationship but when she looked at Bella she saw a daughter she never had,she was the sister Alice and Emmett always wanted, He was the black sheep the one they did not understand and had given up trying too,When they were worried about him she was the one they turned to,she was the one who explained what was wrong,She was their bridge to him it had always been that way between them,she fit in perfectly with his family while he did not fit all the time and he resented it,resented the gap. He'd manage to close the gap many times before but somehow it never stayed closed but Bella had a way of weaseling her was in and finding out anything and everything she wanted and for that he cursed her to high heavens but they were friends first,mortal enemies second but He would always trusted her,love her like a sister,confided in her things he told no one.

They knew each other too well for that and yet they fought like cats and dogs every chance they got until they would run out of hurtful things to say to each other.

She was his best friend,his only friend,Somehow she'd stayed after all the others had dimmed and faded away. He was standing in his old room now or what use to be his old room reminiscing on times gone bye of a lighter time before pain had left it's mark on everything. If he could just wish it away that pain that made him bitter that had made him cruel but he couldn't and he'd never had the strength to face it not even now so many years after. He was still hung up on Tanya what a loser he turned out to be,he really had to get over this it's not like there had not been other girls but no one that mattered as much as she did. There had been only one great love of his live and when that crashed and burned he'd left for college not looking back and Bella had gone along with him not that they were friends. He'd thrown away their friendship for Tanya and Bella never forgot that. It was just she cared enough to make sure that he turned out ok and didn't let the break up mess up his life and his future. He had to hand it to her she was a great friend more than he deserved and he owed her so much.

Here he was where it all happened where he'd chosen to take the bitter road that left him isolated from everyone and everything he held dear. Bella considered him a fool for it and it had over the years been the source of some of their biggest fights but he would not be moved on the subject and she was forbidden from commenting on it to him that Bella could be forborne anything but she cared and she didn't want to see the raw hurt in his eyes when the subject came up so she left it as it was not that it didn't bother her to keep her mouth shut.

Edward reached to get his towel to go take a shower before they left to go to Adam's house. The flight had been long and tiring the cool water would help him relax since the mere act of being here was already opening up old wounds as he round the corner to the bathroom he spotted Bella about the same time she spotted him though she was closer to the bathroom door than he was his legs were longer in four long strides he was there yanking the door open, bodily removing her from the room and shutting the door in her face. He chuckled as he remember the pissed off and shock look she gave him. Funny isn't it that she never thought I'd fight for the bathroom when she'd already made it to the door first and she thought she knew me . The look on her face was priceless it instantly brighten his felt good again there was nothing like pissing Bella off and so the war begins he mused as he got into the shower not the least bit guilty.

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Bella

Bella was so pissed off she couldn't see straight that arrogant bastard well she'd show him,she had no intention of just standing outside the bathroom until he was finish so that she could tell him off and get even more riled up by his amused smirk and to go get herself more angry that she was at present no that would not do. Fuck Edward Cullen who the fuck do you think you she smile if he wants to play that game she could too and she was sure she was better at it than he ever was.

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Edward

Edward opened the bathroom door whistling in an attempt to arouse her temper but when he saw that she had a smile on her face,a smile that was a little bit too sweet and he knew that she'd done something but he had yet to figure out the what. "How are you Edward did you have a nice bath" She asked politely.

He narrowed his eyes shooting daggers at her "Yes I'll have to say I did. It was indeed good and the look on your face was a nice little bonus for me. How about you?" I asked my brain trying to figure out what she'd done." I'm good Edward you know whatever makes you happy makes me happy" she smiled. The hair at the back of his neck rose whatever she'd done was bad he knew it from the smile on her face,the victory in her eyes,she was beaming as he quicken his pace to his room to find out what she'd done and how angry he was allowed to be. As he entered the room nothing seemed to be out of place he breathed a sigh of relief he blow dried his hair and dried himself off whistling as he was in a good mood again but that good mood only lasted as long as it took to get to his suitcase. His suitcase was wet,every item in it damp. He could feel the anger coming,he wanted to race down the corridor knock the door down to the bathroom and get into it with Bella but He knew the rules they were not allowed to fight in this house not when his mother was here she always took Bella's side over his and it always pissed him off more as Bella was all too aware of so it was a draw as she no douth knew it would be. The question was what was he going to wear,He started to go through his closet finding clothing he'd left here when he was seventeen he went through three pairs of jeans before he found one that fit. If you call skin tight pants fitting this was not his style he preferred a little room in his clothing but it would do for now and slipped on a vintage t shirt that was a tad bit short and tight .

He had to smile she really got him this time. He never saw it coming but He had time to get her back He always had time. He'd wait until her guard was down to pay her back for his change in fashion sense. He sighed she was going to love seeing him in this get up it would make her day,well he might as well get it over with.

As he passed the door of his sister Alice's room He heard voices. He knew she was in there he didn't even bother to knock "Are you ready yet" he asked as he entered. "She's not here" Alice stated "She left a while ago,You should check downstairs" Alice said with a scowl "Hello Edward so nice to see you made it home in one piece, I got here a little while back my exams finished early so I took the next flight out of New York and here I the whole retro vibe Edward and next time you should stop to knock" She ended how the fuck does someone so tiny say all that in one breathe it was incredible. Alice was his little sister emphasis on little she was one year younger that him but in this house it didn't matter Alice was a force of nature a force of nature that was now sporting a very angry pout on her face ok time to retreat. He grumbled and left the room as He made his way to the stairs he could hear the distinct sound of stifled giggles so Bella was as he suspected was still in there. He smiled he had to give it to her she had his family twisted around her little finger. Today was hers but tomorrow was going to be his.


	3. Chapter 3 Deal or No Deal

BPOV

As I descended the staircase,I caught sight of Edward in his tight pants and two sizes too small t shirt and I could not hold back my laughter. He looked at me and narrowed his eyes. "So are you ready to leave Bella" he asked, "yeah but I think Emmett is going with us so we'll have to wait until he's changed" He mumbled it's funny that he looked seventeen all over again except that he was a little broader than he was at seventeen . "Oh my, don't you look sexy Edward,you have an amazing figure your sure to make the girls drool tonight I gave him my best smile as he stood there thinking of a come back to that."

"Well Bella love at least one of us has a love life you know you can't live through me forever don't you, soon I'll have to look for a husband for you so then you won't have time to think up things to do to me,in fact I think my husband hunt starts tonight" He smiled. Damn payback was a bitch I can only imagine what he had in store for me tonight, I hope there aren't any single guys in Adam's family because Edward was going to embarrass the hell out of me this evening.

"For your information Edward Anthony Cullen I do have someone it's just I haven't told you about him yet" I explained.  
He turned from watching television to stare at me trying to figure out if I was lying, "If you mean Jacob I'm so going to kill you have we not been through this too many times must we go down this road Bella? Jacob Black is not the one, He wasn't the one in college and he's not the one now. If I have to have another of those late night chats about Jacob Black I'm going to scream anyway I thought he was in Italy for the next three months" He fumed. Shit I forgot to tell Edward and now he had every right to go all dramatic on my ass because I didn't tell him that me and Jacob decided to date. Awe here we go again.

"He is in Italy I retorted We just decided to try a relationship when he comes back home that's all" I said waiting for the shit to hit the fan so to speak. Edward stared at me shocked "So let me get this straight You and Jacob after going back and forth on are we friends are we lovers debate for the last three years and you driving me insane in the process are finally and I mean finally going to try having a relationship,have I covered all the bases " he inquired as he gave me an almost hostile stare.

"See now your overreacting this is why I didn't want to tell you anything,it's not like that this time honest" I sighed. Ok explanation time I met Jacob in college and we fast became good friends but somehow along the way I started to develop feelings for him that were not well friendly if you get my drift but I never told him that instead I told Edward which was a big mistake because Edward met Jacob and Jacob's then girlfriend and Edward being Edward demanded to have a private lunch with Jacob where he made it clear to a shocked Jacob that my feeling for him had changed and Jacob should figure out how he felt about me because Edward was tired of being my shoulder to cry on when Jacob started dating someone new.

Ok it goes without saying that this did not sit well with Jacob who thought if I had feelings for him I should have just come tell him and we would have figured it out together instead of telling my psycho best friend Edward that he was starting to really dislike. Since then our relationship or whatever it was was in tatters all because of a big mouth idiot who also happened to be my best friend. Jacob and I had taken two years multiple boyfriends and girlfriend,many fights, a lot of tears and a whole lot of compromise to reach where we were currently trying a relationship after three years of friendship so can I really blame Edward for being mad since I had talked his ear off about Jacob for three years and never once took his advice to leave it alone and date someone new that I didn't have a crash and burn history with already. "Edward" I begged "can you just support me in this please I love him and I'm giving it a chance finally it's scary to open my heart to him knowing that someday I might lose him as a friend too and then I'll have nothing but I'm willing to try and that's a lot coming from me so be supportive please" I pleaded.

EPOV

"What the fuck Bella ? Are you seriously asking me to support this seriously after the two years of fuck ups and hurt this ass has given you. Don't sit here and pretend it didn't happen I was there I was there for every time he went out on dated with other girl knowing that you had feelings for him and you crying your eyes out. I'm not supporting this he's an ass who didn't see what a wonderful person you are and he should be left out in the cold not fucking given another change are you serious. Bella you deserve so much more that Jacob Black can give you,He's the worst kind of tool" I screamed trying to clam myself down and not fucking succeeding . "This coming from someone who hasn't had a serious relationship in four years but more one night stands that a slut in Vegas spare me Edward" Bella retorted. We both turned hearing footsteps approaching .

"Sorry to interrupt guys but we need to go" smiled Emmett. He was so caught up with his fight with Bella he didn't see when Alice and Emmett came down stairs but they both had huge smiles on their faces so obviously they'd hear a lot of their exchange.

" I think she should give Jacob a change to be honest since we're on that subject" stated Alice giving me a angry look. "Wait a minute,wait How does Alice know about this before me" I screamed at Bella. She blushed and it made me all the more pissed because that could mean only one thing this wasn't something that just happened this was something that had developed over a period of time. "How long" I inquired giving her my most pissed off long what she mumbled trying to play all innocent,I wasn't having it "How long since you decided to give Jacob a chance?" Long pause and then she looked me in the eyes and said two weeks maybe three.

"Fuck Bella thanks for letting me know where we stand on this friendship thing we have going" I said moving away from her I needed distance before I said something that would hurt her . "It's not like that Edward really it's not I just didn't want to get into it with you over this" She pleaded. "Stop just Stop I don't want to have this conversation right now I'm pissed and I'm hurt but most of all I'm disappointed can we just go already" I shouted as I left the room to make my way to the car leaving a very studded Bella in my wake.

BPOV

Did that really just happened ? Did Edward just storm out of the room ? She knew he'd be angry but she didn't know how angry he's be and telling Alice before him didn't help matters much she sighed it was going to be a long night. She felt Alice hugging her and telling her it would be ok give Edward a chance to calm down first then he'd be ok with it.

"Yeah Alice I wouldn't hold my breath your brother isn't know for being forgiving not in the least he's so going to torture me first" I mumbled .  
She let out the breath she was holding and said "let's get this show on the road people" walking to the door. I sighed "it'll sure to be a eventful evening with a pissed of best friend,mourning relatives and Edward wanting to marry me of to the first available bachelor.I don't know about you guys but I can hardly wait whoa hooooo welcome home Bella" I screamed as I walked out the door to a laughing Emmett and a sympathetic Alice. Edward was leaned against the car looking angry but not as angry as he had been when he left the house.

"Can I have a minute alone with Edward guys if it's not too much to ask" I said looking at Alice and Emmett." No problem Bella we'll wait in the car" said Emmett giving my shoulders a reassuring squeeze. I walked up to Edward and gave him a huge hug "I'm sorry" I whispered "I should have told you but you don't have to worry Edward I think I'll be fine." I said trying to reason with him as I said that he burst out laughing "you'll be fine are you really trying to sell me on that because I'm not buying it Bella and If he breaks your heart this time I'm totally going to break his jaw at least then you won't be the only one in pain and I'll be happy to kick his ass after all these years of wanting to it'll be a win win situation so you go try that relationship thing with Mr Wonderful and I'll just go brush up on my kickboxing skills and when he drops the ball like I know he will eventually and fucks up this chance your giving him,I'll get to fuck up that pretty little face of his and you'll say or No Deal! " He ended with his hand out waiting for me to agree to this crazy deal of his.

"Wow Edward you have so much anger issues fine if Jacob messes up you get to go crazy for a bit. Deal ! So is your best friend in the whole wide world forgiven" I said with my best puppy dog eyes. Edward smiled "Fuck no but now we're getting somewhere at least I'm not pissed at you anymore if it makes you feel better love" he answered and enveloped me in a huge hug. He had a big smile on his face most likely imagining punching Jacob have I mentioned that Edward had anger issues.


	4. Chapter 4 Memories and Hello Kitty

BPOV

Wow there were so many familiar faces here, so many people she'd gone to high school with,it made her feel like seventeen again.

(Flashback )

"Hey I'm Isabella but my friends call me Bella and you must be Adam". He smiled at me and offered me his hand "well I guess we're going to be partners today" said Adam as he started to get into the kayak .Yeah about that I'm not really good at sports so you might want to put on your life jacket I warned handing him a life jacket as I turned around to put one on myself. You can't be that bad he stated with a huge grin on his face,I started to laugh as memories of other failed attempts at sports ran through my mind want to bet I retorted.

(Half an hour later)  
We were on the deck covered in mud and soaked throw but we couldn't stop laughing of course we'd lost the race and sank a kayak but it was the funniest thing ever so long after the races were over Adam and I laid on the deck getting to know one another.I thought he was cool considering I tried to drown him a while back and he found me interesting and funny soon it began to get dark and we both knew it was time to make our way back to camp we were getting up to leave when I heard someone calling Adam's name loudly Oh Adam you've been missed I teased.

Yeah he said with a smile that's my best friend Edward calling I guess he finally noticed I was missing he smiled back I'm over here Edward He shouted. The boy in front of me had piercing green eyes that bore into mine,I could see he was a bit confused as to what I was doing here with Adam as he came closer he never taking his eyes of me and I couldn't move I just kept staring at him too. I felt like a complete idiot mooning over this complete stranger his hair was an unusual bronze colour and it was unkept but it only added to the strangers appeal,he had long eye lashes that made me jealous and pink lips that held a smirk of some sort then I realise that he was aware of my examination of his features and obviously knew how handsome he was and his affect of female I was suddenly a bit angry.

Hey I said dryly I'm Bella,he smiled at me and offered his hand I'm Edward I've been looking for you guys all over he said with a crooked smile that did strange things to my heart which only made me more pissed and I don't even know why. As we shoke hands I was aware of a slight electric shock over my rising temper. Well anyways it was nice meeting you Edward I said then turned to Adam to give him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek I should be getting back but stay in touch ok,you never know when I might need you to save me from myself again I laughed. No worries think of me as your personal life guard always at your service.I laughed I may just take you up on that Adam I said as I left them on the deck and made it back to camp. I had a smile plastered on my face what a day I thought.

(End Flashback )

I made my way to the kitchen to look for Aunt Liza Adam's mother. I spotted her and Esme having a quiet talk at the kitchen table as I approached. Aunt Liza looked up and gave me a smile then gave me a big hug,Instantly the tears came and I felt like such a baby but I tried my best to hold back as much as I could. I stated when I had better control on my voice how are you holding up? She gave me a sad smile," as best as it is to be expected I suppose" she sighed. I felt tears filling my eyes,I'm so sorry I whispered in her ear Thanks she said with a teary eyed smile .I talked to her for a while about funeral arrangements and what was going on in Adam's life before he died and why he gave up but even after all the facts were laid out I still did not understand.I don't think I ever would fully understand.  
Aunt Liza can I go up to his room please I asked go right ahead she smiled giving my shoulder a tight squeeze before I left the room. As I made my way up the stairs and down the corridor to Adam's room I had flashback to sleepovers we'd had when we were twelve Edward, ,Alice Adam and I had had so much fun in this house these corridors use to be filled with our laughter and our shouts. I loved those love filled weekends in the bat cave that's what we called Adam's room yeah I know not really original but it worked. Flashback to a sleepover at Adam's house)  
" Can you be more of an Ass Edward I mean I always knew you were an ass but come on she's my cousin " I yelled while he just stood in front of me and smiled First of all Tanya called me and secondly I think I might really like her and thirdly your so cute when your pissed he erupted into a fit of laughter only stopping to say If I'm an ass your the best friend of an ass what does that make you. I'm a idiot I yelled I have to be an idiot to be your friend so fuck you I'm out do whatever you want,I so over having these arguments it's like talking to a brick wall I screamed as I made my way out the door and down the stairs to the kitchen. I heard Adam chuckling as I turned to him and he enveloped me in a tight hug. There were no words all the words were irrelevant with us the hug said all of what he thought and more . (End Of Flashback)

I held my breath as I pushed open the door to Adam's room aka the bat cave. It took me a min for my eyes to adjust to the dark and there standing at the window was someone looking out,I began to excuse myself when I realised it was Edward and not just Edward but a teary eyed Edward that broke my heart. I wanted to tell him everything was going to be alright and say that I was there for him but before I could get the words out, My legs took me into Edward's arms,resting my head on his shoulders,breathing him in and hugging him like I'd never let let out a sigh and buried his head into my hair and hugged me back .

We stayed like this for so long that my legs started to hurt from standing but we both seem unwilling to end it, lost in thoughts of Adam.I couldn't help it I had to break the silence. I looked up at Edward searching his eyes as he looked down at me a little know I love you right and I'd never let go of you no matter what your my go to guy for always I inquired Plus you can tell me anything. He looked down at me giving me a nod of his head in agreement and went back to hugging me.I love you too you know your my girl for life he whispered kissing my eyes and cheek.  
Ok enough of the mushy stuff or we'll be here all night he teased as I rolled my eyes at him which made his smile all the we should stay the night Edward what do you think I took a minute to think it over then said yeah I think one last sleepover is in order.  
He took out his phone from his pocket and are you calling I inquired .He looked at me and smile saying I'd find out soon enough. Yeah Alice Where are you? Yeah she's with me we're in Adam's room. We're thinking of having a sleep over here tonight Please tell mom and Liza please . So Alice are you in he asked laughing at what ever her answer was I knew you would be he retorted tell Emmett to please. yeah do that ok. I'll see you in a little bit there was that crocked smile again then bye Alice .

I moved to get out of Edward's arms but he held on to me tightly I looked up to him with a puzzled we not just have that conversation about you never letting me go he joked So you decided to take that literally I laughed. I reached up to his face and wiped his tear stained cheeks with my fingers as he did the same for me.  
Edward your so cute when you cry have I told you that I laughed,oh shut up your a bigger cry baby than I ever he shouted as I laughed and tried to slip out of his arms without success.  
He had a huge evil grin on his face and I was about to asking what he was thinking when he lifted me over his shoulder and throw me on the bed. Oh Edward darling your so dead you don't even know it I whispered through my teeth If I were you I'd run now I suggested but he just stood there laughing when he could finally speak he whispered why are you wearing underwear that advises you to shake your kitty to a wake just asking not that I want the details and started laughing harder. My mouth dropped open in shock then I did what any girl would do I took off my shoe and throw it at his head.I'll have to had it to Edward he had skills because I have no idea how he got out of the way so quickly and the shoe when flying passed his head through the door to hit a very angry looking Alice. At this time Edward was hysterical throwing himself on the bed next to me.  
I however was still in shock looking into Alice's angry face I'm so sorry Alice I muttered So very very sorry. Edward propped himself up on his elbows looked at me and said have I ever told you you throw like a girl and started laughing at me all over again.I through myself at him and started hitting him . oh geez sorry ok, ok truce kitty is feisty I for one won't want to get kitty upset now I'm starting to feel sorry for Jacob the dude will never see this coming he managed to say between gasp. Your such an ass I shouted while my cheeks turned a horrible shade of pink.  
I second that I heard someone say from the doorway Edward and I turn to see who it was.  
Standing in the doorway was a beautiful blond girl who look sort of familiar and I was still trying to place her face when a guy came to stand right next to her with my shoes in his hand with a big smile on his Bella the guy smiled I see your temper hasn't changed a bit and gave a soft chuckle.  
Jasper I screamed moving from Edward and throwing myself into Jasper's arms Oh my god it's been forever you got so cute too I gasp, Marry me now and we'll have pretty blond haired babies by next year I said as I kissed his cheek . I laughed so excited to see Adam's twin cousins Jasper and Rose after so long. Hey sexy I yelled at Rose somethings never changes Rose was still the prettiest girl I'd ever seen well actual after looking at her for a few second I'd have to say her body now matched her face. I narrowed my eyes at her and pouted my lips and whispered I hate you Rose your always give me a complex She rolled her eyes at me and gave me a hug. Get use to it honey she smiled I'm staying the week.

EPOV

Wow could Rose really get more hot,oh me oh my this was going to be some week. I got off the bed to go say hello to Jazz and Rose giving them each a hug So I said we're having one last sleep over tonight are you guys in or what .Totally in Alice told us about it downstairs thus the reason we came up here to break up you and Bella's sexcapade only to see a shoe come flying out the room I knew there was only one person who can throw a bitch fit like that Rose stated looking at Bella with a grin. So Bella was the sex any good or have the village sluts lied on Edward. Bella burst out laughing I'd give him a four for effort,five for equipment and a six for overall performance. I narrowed my eyes as I retorted Kitty wishes she got me in her panties or should I say thongs and smiled in pleasure as I saw Bella's face turn pink. I don't mean to interrupt you guys but whose kitty? asked Jasper looking from me to Bella clearly sensing a story behind the name. I opened my mouth to tell them the story when Bella screamed Edward if you tell that story I totally get to tell them about Davis. Damn why did I even tell her about that now she's totally going to hang that over my head forever. In short Davis was a gay nurse at the hospital I was interning at and I found him asleep on my cot one night and went a bit crazy as he tried to seduce me not something I liked to remember if I could help it.  
Bella Shut up !!! I growled. As Jasper Rose and Emmett burst out laughing.  
Oh man you guys never change laughed Jasper I know right said Alice I wish they'd just have sex and get it over with all that sexual frustration is so unhealthy. Yeah Bella fuck him and get it over with already chimed in Rose. Can we stop talking about Bella and I having sex and talk about Rose and me having sex I said as I move closer to Rose and whisper into her ear loud enough so the others could hear So Rose have you read any good books lately I said in my most seductive voice as I bit my lip giving her suggestive looks.I almost laughed at her stunned face I loved to do this to Rose it had been to long since we'd flirted. Damn Edward stop dazzling me you oversexed ass she mumbled angrily backing away from me and joined Bella on the gave Bella a sympathetic look how in god's green earth do you put up with sex on legs there for so many years and not fuck his brains out is beyond me she do you want to try to fuck my brain out I asked as I joined them on the bed. Bella looked up at me and smiled Because my dear Rosalie I don't find Edward hot in the least he's always been like my brother so I'm totally immune to his charms. She said still smiling up at me. Are you immune to my charms Kitty? Jasper joking asked Bella. She turned her head to look at Jasper giving him a seductive smile.I got lost in my thoughts as Bella and Jasper flirted in the background.  
Damn it had been close to five years since we had all been together having a conversation very much like this one just Adam wasn't here this time.


	5. Chapter 5 Tequila Sunise

EPOV

( 2 Hours Later)

"Edward give me your Ipod" asked Rosalie pulling me out of my somber thoughts "Hell no" I responded "you don't ask a man to see his Ipod that's like asking me to take off my clothing" I scoffed.

"Spare me horny Eddie no one wants to meet Caesar" smiled Rosalie as she moved from the window to join Bella and I on the bed pushing her body between us .

I turned to her smiling "everyone wants to meet Caesar at least once Rosalie he's king you know" I whispered seductively into Rosalie's ear and chuckled when she gasped just before Bella hit me in the head with a pillow. "Shut it horny Eddie ! Caesar must die " She screamed playfully as I flipped her over and throw her onto the floor. I was laughing so hard it was hard to breathe, she got up and gave me a dirty look before getting back on the bed.

"Damn this bed isn't big enough for the three of us " she mumbled

"You can have his Ipod Rose he's just being an ass as per usual he can't help himself sometimes" she stated as she removed the Ipod from my pocket and gave it to Rosalie.

I gave Bella an evil look but I didn't want to start a fight yet, we had the entire night and it was only eight o'clock ,he'd get her back later.

" Oh my god how much longer until Alice and Jasper get back with the food I'm hungry" Bella whined "I'm hungry" I mimic ed receiving a pillow to the face again I might add. "What you sound like a dying rabbit" I defended " If your soooooooo hungry go downstairs and get something". "No" Bella yelled " then I'll have to mingle and I suck at mingling plus all those kids from high school are downstairs, I'd rather starve" She finished in a huff folding her arms over her chest.

"Anti-social " I shouted to which she she called me a whore. This conversation was so us that I had to smile. We fell into a comforting silence.

"Edward do you know who the girl is" Bella asked by the look on her face I understood who she was asking for Adam's girlfriend who had broke his heart . I sighed "she's downstairs Bella her name is Gaby she cheated on him and she feels really bad about all this she didn't know he'd take it this hard" I finished trying to figure out what emotion was the most dominant on her face.

Bella got up and started looking for her shoes I panicked as I realised that she was pissed there was no way I could let her downstairs like this she's make a scene if you met up with Gaby. "Bella You can't go down there to yell at her, it's not her fault and she feels bad enough without this" I said.

She had a dark scowl on her face and a single tear gentle slid down her cheek , I gave an agonising sigh I hated to see Bella cry it always broke something in me in three strides I had her in my arms whispering comforting words in her ear while stroking her hair trying to get through to her that it would be OK but she just kept on crying and making me feel useless. I turned to Rosalie and she was crying too, I put my arms around her.

"Damn can we not do this right now this is our last sleepover we need to be happy for Adam at least tonight" I pleaded.

"I feel guilty Edward for not knowing how bad it was, for not calling, I'm just sorry " Bella cried into my shoulder.

"I feel the same way but we can't change anything as much as we may want to. Damn it Bella your making me cry " I yelled.

We stood there crying like idiots until the ears dried up and we could cry no more and that where Alice and Jasper found us.

"Awe guys did you watch the colour purple again" asked Jasper to which everyone started laughing remembering Bella crying episode after watch that movie when we were twelve.

"Hey that was a good movie" defended Bella to which we laughed harder. " ok enough with the tears people it will do us no good tonight because tonight is for Tequila " Jasper shouted dancing around the room like the asshole we all know and loved.

"How cliche we're drowning our sorrows in alcohol" Bella mumbled with a sad look as if she was going to start crying all over again well not if i could help it. "Indeed" I said pushing her on the bed and then throwing myself on top of her while she fought to get back up and I decided to fight dirty and tickled her into submission. "Oh get off me " Bella yelled "I can feel Caesar ewwwww". I couldn't help laughing "Do you want to feel Caesar or do you want to feel Caesar I whispered coming closer to her. Her mouth fell open in shock then looked to Jasper "Ok on second thought break out the tequila please " Bella told Jasper. I growled and threw myself onto her and covering her with my body fighting to keep her under me on the bed. "Wait do you guys need some privacy are you having a I'll show you mines if you show me yours moment because we can always come back" said Alice with a smile. "Damn Alice way to kill the mood " I said turning to her with a dirty look. "hey I love Bella and I don't think she wants to meet Caesar just yet" Alice replied . While I was listening to Alice Bella proceeded to throw me of the bed as I fought to remain on top of her,Rosalie helped her throw me off the bed to them shouting "Down with Caesar" between giggles. I couldn't help laugh looking at Jasper across the room "Way to help a brother Jazz " I shouted to which he smiled and said "anytime Edward anytime " I felt as if we were all sixteen again so immature just being in this room made us all mumbling idiots once again oh well let's just go with it shall we. I pulled myself off the floor and shouted "Tequila" to which the girls echoed.

BPOV

( 4 Hours Later/ Second bottle of Tequila later)

The girls are giggling again. We were all laying on the carpet asking each other questions while drinking tequila

though clearly we had had enough.

"oh I have one, I have one " shouted Rose yes ladies and gentlemen Tequila made Rose very loud.

"Bella if you were gay who would you hook up with Alice or me " she giggled "ohhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyy goddddddddddd no more Tequila for Rose " I told Edward who was by far the most sober of us chuckled "answer the question Bella " .

I did the mature thing and stuck my tongue out at him "I'd totally go for Alice " I answered. "I mean she's hot, look at her" I continued

"Ewwww Issy stop " yelled Edward as i got a pillow to my face. "What!!!" I yelled back " All the Cullen kids are hot" I said smiling .

"I agree" shouted Rose " I personally have a little something for Emmett not that he gives me the time of day but Godddd He has the most kissable body I've ever seen and those lips damn those lips" said Rosalie dreamily only shutting up when Alice Edward and Jasper smacked her with a pillow each."sorry Tequila makes me horny " she giggled.

I rolled my eyes at her "yeah Rose we know "

"I have a serious question for Bella " Rose said "how come you and Alice are so close now I know you've always thought of her like your little sis but it seems as if you guys are really tight now so what's the deal " she asked

"well what can I say to that we'll we live in the same city,we talk on the phone constantly and oh we have breakfast together every sunday morning well most Sunday mornings" I replied. I could feel Edward's confused look from all the way across the room because we'd never told him about Sundays not that it mattered he usually got up after lunch on Sundays anyway.

"It's our girl time Edward it not like we intentionally kept it from you" I defended. I'm just wondering what else you girls are keeping from me that's all " he fumed "I have a question "what the fuck do you girls talk about on Sunday mornings" He asked looking from me to Alice and back again. "Boys,sex,school,life I don't know Edward everything.I didn't know it would bug you this much, I still don't see what the big deal is anyway so Alice is my friend now and not just my best friends sister " I defended .

"Yeah Edward Bella is not yours she's ours , we're not having a Tanya moment again" shouted Alice

Edward looked at me and it brought back all the pain of him choosing Tanya over our friendship ,He'd let me go and it didn't matter that we were back to being friends and that I loved him,he'd chosen her and someday in the future he may meet someone and fall in love again and he'd choose love over our friendship again and it was the subject that we didn't talk about because it hurt too much and there was no getting over it because I didn't trust him to always be there and everyone knew it and it hut like hell that this was the one sore that could never heal.

Edward groaned seeing the pain in my eyes and came to sit next to me and took me into his arms that always felt like home to me.

"I'm sorry Bella I'm so sorry I was a complete ass and you've always been the best part of me and I should never have forgotten that part for a moment and I'll never forget it tears at my heart to see you hurt and to know that it's because of me . I'm so sorry issy god knows that was one of my darkest hour and I know my family missed you so much during that time so Alice I'm sorry too " Edward said looking at me pleading with me to get over it but how can I,how could I .

"I'm just sorry " laughed Jasper "Edward do you know that Tanya is downstairs" Jasper asked Edward gave jasper an evil look.

"Jazz was that really necessary" I laughed "can't we let sleeping dogs like" I sighed. "Don't you mean bitches Bella" laughed Rose

"Wow rose such animosity "I smirked "Edward are you going to talk things out with Tanya while we're here clear the air and give her a chance to explain what happened to you "I asked as I reached over to him to take his hand in mine. "Possibly" he whispered "Do you want to talk about it later" I turned his head to look at me " No Bella we are not having a heart to heart about Tanya" said Edward rolling his eyes "I love you too much for that" he said and gave me a kiss on my cheek and put his arms around me.

"I really hate when you guys go all lovey on us you do realise that we're still here right" yelled Jasper walking over to where we were hugging . "I'll have to agree guys you act like you've been married for years" said Alice with a smile. In another life Alice one when he wasn't a whore " I laughed .

"I much prefer Jacob for you Bella,He has that whole I can be faithful thing going for him " teased Alice ducking from a pillow Edward had thrown her way.

Edward started to laugh then went suddenly still. "Bella how does my sister know Jacob" He asked in an angry voice.

I turned to Alice and he nodded my way I exhaled deeply and faced my angry best friend knowing he wouldn't like this story one bit .

"Well a few weeks ago Alice has some guy following her everywhere and she got scared and called me so I went over to spend the weekend and we ended up going to a party where the stalker guy sort of followed us there and i got scared and called Jacob who came and got us out of there but not before punching stalker guy in the face and telling him to stay the fuck away from us" I finished breathing in and taking a look at his face . "Bella why didn't you call me " He asked softly .

"You had exams that week Edward and I didn't want to bother you plus Jacob was only like seven miles away " I answered making puppy dog eyes at him.

"Bella, Alice is my sister you should have called me " He muttered he was going to say something else when Alice cut him off.

"Stop Edward don't give her a hard time because you don't like Jacob,He's really nice I really got to know him that weekend and i totally approve the giving Jacob Black another chance idea" Alice said smiling .

"Whoa whoa Jacob spent the weekend" Edward yelled while pinching his nose a sign that he was bearly controling his temper.

I looked at Alice and rolled my eyes at her "he spent the night Saturday at Alice's apartment to make sure stalker guy didn't show up and then he spent Sunday morning with us " I answered.

Edward was looking at me as if his head would explode any second now and he started to pace the room while the four of us just sat on the bed watching his every move.

"Would you stop that" shouted an annoyed Alice, "Damn Edward your acting silly calm down and com sit with us "ordered a smiling Alice but he just kept pacing like a crazy person oh well.

Jasper started laughing "God I miss this the drama that just follows you all around do you people ever get bored" He asked I'm thinking of moving to new york by the way" He stated. We all including Rose gave him shocked glances .

"what the fuck brother when were you going to tell me " asked Rose throwing herself onto Jasper."Hey I just decided like today that I needed people and all my favorite people live in New York sooooooooooo" Jasper said . "I don't live in New York" yelled Rose giving him a playful punch on the arm.

"Then I guess I don't love you uless you move to New York with me then we can be together" Jasper answered while dodging Rose's fists.

"I'll think about it guys " said Rose "but I have a question for Alice how hot is Jacob by the way just so I know because Bella is bias".

Alice was bouncing on the bed obviously loving he on the other hand was shooting me daggers from across the room.

Oh man was I going to get it .

"Oh My God he's almost as tall as Emmett ,muscular with skin the colour of caramel and dark eyes oh Rose he's a stunner If Bella decides she's not game we're so fighting for him " Alice gushed. I looked up at Edward and yeah he was still there shooting me daggers damn tonight was going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6The student becomes the teacher

EPOV

I open my eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling and the warmth of someone next to me wondering where I was. Bella aka the warm body I'd remember that scent any where of flowers and sunshine. The reality of the past two days came back to me.

I stare down at Bella who has her mouth open and is doing that mumbling thing in her sleep that is so Bella and I can't help smile.

So let's recap shall we, my best friend since forever overdosed on painkillers because some she bitch did the tango on his heart and the gang was together again well minus Adam having a last hooray before the funeral where we will cry like hyenas and be totally embarrassed after.

Yeah great morning don't you think. Ok on to a brighter note like how to wake these idiots up or first how to wake Bella up.

I reached over and gently touch Bella's ear. She makes a sound of protest and then her eyes flutters open to give me a very angry look.

"Oh Edward I was having a really good dream leave me alone" she groaned covering her head with a pillow. "Always so cheerful in the morning "I smile while trying to pull the pillow off her face. "Oh shut up" she answers.

"Lets go get some coffee sunshine "I said with a smile on my face sure to piss her off more. I heard no answer so I throw her over my shoulder and and carried her downstairs to the kitchen and deposited her on a stool while she is giving me the stare of death.

OK score for the day one point Edward Bella zip ahh the tides are turning in my favor so far a good morning.

I then went to the coffee maker to pour Bella some coffee and made my way back to her. She had her head on the counter and I had to nudge her to get her attention "do you have a hangover darling" I ask with a grin to which she shook her head as no so I told her we had to leave soon to go home to get dressed to visit her parents. "Where is Alice " she croaked and I couldn't help laugh at her morning voice while she glared at me."Alice left about three this morning with Emmett so it's just us" I answered . She nodded her head in understanding and stared at me as she tried to formulate her thoughts into words now this look that she has on her face has never been a good thing for me the fact that she was thinking about how to word her statements meant that she was trying not to make me angry with whatever she had to say and I started to become uncomfortable. "Edward can we talk about what happened last night please" she asked as she slide her tiny frame across the counter to sit beside me taking my hands into hers."I'd rather not Issy but I'm sure I don't really have a choice in the matter now do I " I answered as she nodded to confirm I was right.I took a deep breathe preparing myself for what she had to say.

"I'm sorry I should have told you about Jake but you tend to go all big brother on me and it gets old Edward I'm not in high school anymore I'm a grown woman" she said pausing to take a breathe then looking me in the eye and holding my hand as if we were in a relationship and she was letting me down gently and if it wasn't me she was talking to, I'd find this "talk" very funny but it was me. What the fuck was this about anyway it's totally retarded for us to be sitting here at 7 o'clock in the fucking morning talking about boundaries in our relationship this was a dinner time conversation not a hi how are you doing this morning conversation what the fuck Bella.

I was about to voice my concerns when she went right into it, please God tell me she's not going to have a heart to heart with me right now because I need a whole lot of alcohol if I have to hear this psycho babble right now.

"I want more than this Edward,I want the house,the car and the two point five kids. I want someone to come home to who'll ask me how my day was and who loves me for me. Basically your fucking up my mojo and I'm drawing the line pal" She said taking another deep breath and waiting for my response. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself not helping. I pinched the bridge of my nose to keep the anger in not helping oh fuck why was it always Bella that messed with my control answer me that.

"I fucked up your "mojo", what the fuck Bella you don't have a "mojo". Have you thought for one second that you fucked up your "mojo" all on your own.I mean come on do you see the way you dress it's like your screaming Hello my name is Bella and I'm a computer nerd that doesn't give a fuck what I look like" I yelled starting to get really pissed off. She's sitting there all cool and collective like I just told her that it's ok and I totally love the whole line being drawn shit she's trying to pull and I just want to shake her but at the back of my mind I know she's sort of right and I have no idea why the fuck I'm over reacting like I am.

"I'll work on my problems and you work on yours ok" she stated calmly which only pisses me off more here I was totally pissed and she's cool like it's all rainbows and unicorns so I do what anyone in my position would do pretend to be calm as well.

"Ok Issy I'll stop being over protective I mean your a big girl right you can handle a little male attention on your own" I asked with a smile that looked more like a snare but it's the best I could do so I'm trying to sell it but Mrs psycho babble herself is looking at me funny like she's not buying the whole going down without a fight scene so I decided it was time to get out of that kitchen.

"So are we done here "I asked and she nodded to confirm that our little pow wow was over and I could leave .

I gave her the sweetest smile I can muster meaning to comfort her and ease the worried lines on her face making her think all was well when really I'm still pissed off. I walked out of the kitchen going upstairs to wake Jasper and Rosalie to let them know that we were going home for a while and would be back later.

I was so getting back at her for that , it was messing with Bella time and she was so asking for it, I'm smiling as I think of how to get even with Mrs psycho babble downstairs as I open the door to Adam's room.

I realise Jazz and Rosalie are still asleep so I take out my phone and take a picture of Rosalie sleeping and sent it to Emmett at which point she wakes up and asked what the fuck I was doing and I admitted that I was sending pics to big brother Em which I immediately regret because I get an ear full about respecting other peoples privacy and not entering her personal space from a loud mouth Rosalie and I realise it was so not worth it .

What was the deal with the girls today does tequila really do this shit to females make them fucking crazy the morning after.

All that bullshit about me scaring off guys it's just that the idiots she attracts never seem good enough for her and it's like she's blind because she never sees it. I'd never want anyone to hurt Bella she's my rock when everything changes our friendship remains the same I don't want some random dude fucking with that. Messing with her heart and her head she wasn't ready for that she clearly didn't know what guys wanted or she'd understand why I'm over protective didn't she get it I was doing it all for her.

BPOV

I know something isn't right from the whistling in the car to the evil grin plastered on his face . I know Edward and I know he's not pleased about our conversation this morning. OK I'll admit maybe breakfast after a night of drinking isn't the best time for meaningful conversation but I didn't plan it it just sort of just popped out and I couldn't stop myself but it was all true.I do need to give Edward boundaries because that ass sure doesn't draw them himself. Why can't he be a grown up and talk it out like everyone else I said my piece just tell me why your pissed off already instead of trying to fight it and pretending your happy. Edward confuses the fuck out of me but he's the closes thing I have to a brother and I love him regardless of the fact that he's emotionally retarded well more like emotionally crippled.

We get to the house in time for breakfast and Esme always makes the best pancakes ever so I'm sitting at the table between Emmett whose stealing my bacon every time I turn around and Alice whose bouncing on her chair like it's Christmas morning feeling completely at home well until that emotionally retarded best friend of mine comes to sit opposite me and keeps giving me that evil grin of his that is really starting to fuck with my mind and giving me indigestion.

What an ass. "So kids what's the plan for today" Esme asked from the kitchen . "Nothing much mom Bella and I are going to visit her parents and then we're going back to meet with Jasper and Rosalie" Edward answers with a grin giving me a meaningful look that is lost on me because I don't have a clue what he's planning.

( 7 HOURS LATER ) (uncomfortable conversation with the parents later)

I knew something was up after the second guy approached me and started telling me that he'd like to get to know me better ok at the time it was cool but after seven hours of Edward throwing every available guy within a block radius at me I was fucking pissed well pissed didn't really cover it. I was livid and yeah I could tell him off and let it be done with but I wanted revenge and I knew just how to get it but I need a little help from my friends that emotional retard was going down. I found my phone on my purse and speed dial " Alice I need a favor"

EPOV

I'd spent most of the day helping make funeral arrangement and picking up relatives from the airport .Dealing with my own grief,or better yet hiding my grief so no one would see how much I was hurting. I missed Adam it was weird not having him here when I met his family or our friends and I didn't think this was something that I'd get use to anytime soon. Then there was my Bella situation I was angry yesterday for the heart to heart and instead of telling her that I told ever guy I met that she was a great girl and she was looking for a boyfriend and encourage them to talk to her.

I hadn't seen her since last night when she slept in Alice's room and not mine. Since we got here neither of us were comfortable sleeping alone. Adam's death had made us both vulnerable and we didn't want to be alone even in sleep. I couldn't sleep most of the night so I had a lot of time to sort out my feelings and why she had every reason to be upset I was being a jerk as per usual but it was fun playing with Bella and sorry doesn't really come easy for me.

" Good Evening" I smile as I made my way upstairs to a bouncing Alice and a glaring Bella which only made me more happy. Aah my work here is done today was going to be a good day. "your not still mad about yesterday are you " I ask as I sat right beside her and gave her a quick hug.

Ok maybe I went overboard yesterday but you just had to see her face it was classical Bella but she was the one who said she wanted to meet guys. ok maybe that's not what she said but that's what I heard. I admit it I totally fucked with her mind yesterday but if I don't get to be her big brother why can't I try my hand at being the pimp . Well I wasn't really being a pimp either because all the guys I sent her way weren't her type so yeah I'd go with Edward fucking with Bella's mind again for 200 Alex. "What do you think Edward" she asked giving me the death glare.

"I think that your still mad at me but remember that I love you and your the best friend I ever had and I'd do anything for you" I said batting my eyelashes at her hoping she'd simmer down some. "Cut the crap Edward your an ass and everyone knows it I don't know why Bella puts up with you but one of these days she'll find the right guy who'll make her happy and you will become redundant which explains why your being such a bitch about her being in a relationship in the first place" Alice yelled at me."Thank you Doctor Phil always so helpful aren't you now get out please let me have a talk with my bff please" I muttered and Alice gave me the finger before vacated the room. "Anyway Bella I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that I was way out of line" I said while stroking her hand. " It's ok Edward I'll get over it right" she answered and it almost broke my heart ok maybe I am an ass a big fucking ass because I cause that look on her face. I don't deserve her. I've always known that she'd always been too good for me. I gave her a huge hug trying to tell her that I was sorry and that sometime I let my anger carry me places I'd rather not go and hurt the people I've never wanted to hurt. It's all fun and game until she gets that look on her face like I stole her last cookie . "Edward we're not sixteen anymore we've got to learn to have serious conversations without the anger, do you think it was easy for me to have that conversation with you of course not but I had to do it ,I had to be straight with you because your my Edward mine, forever, infinite best friend" she said with tears in her eyes " But your a fucking asshole on most days and I need you to work on that " she laughed. God I loved her did she just soothe and mock me all in one sentence. I was being handle by the one person that could handle me and I was totally going to let her because I know deep down she had my best interest at heart. So I hugged her and made my peace with the idea of her dating for now. "Your a sap but you don't hear me complaining " I mumbled into her neck. "So am I forgiven" I enquired giving her my best smile but she was totally on to me. "Fuck no but we're cool for now Eddie Monster" She said giving my nose a little kiss that was very enduring.

"So you bed or mine" I asked in my sexiest voice as I whispered into her eye to which she gave a shocked look at me. "Edward Anthony Cullen I don't know who your trying to seduce and I don't care how much women have fell for that little line of yours but it will not be working on me I am above your charms just so we're clear " She said wiggling her finger in my face all the while and I had a desire to bite it just to see what Mrs Cool would do and well so I did because I've never been good at reigning in my impulses and if I couldn't fuck with Bella who could I fuck with. Well here I was her finger in my mouth being smug at the look on her face that I can't even begin to describe and then Bella being the revengeful bitch that she is grabbed me by the balls as I let out a groan which was both pleasure and pain which was weird because this was Bella. " Let go of my finger or Caesar gets it " she smile know she had me by the balls.I didn't even have to think about releasing her finger and putting a little distance between us. Fuck that was one tough cookie as if reading my mind she turned to me and said "I learnt from the best ,How do you like my negotiation skills now sweetheart". I had to laugh because she totally took a page out of my play book and made it her own,I had never been so proud maybe she was stronger than I gave her credit for. "Oh Eddie monster we're sleeping in your room tonight so leave the door open ok " She said looking over her shoulder at me before she climbed the stairs to go find Alice. I let out the breathe I was holding in what the fuck was going on with me anyways well from the erected penis between my legs I will have to say Caesar seemed mighty please to meet Bella and that was as confusing as fuck. here I was sitting in the darken living room having a talk with my penis informing him that we do not give salutes to Bella because she was off limits to us in that way,she was queen of Friendville and penises don't salute Friendvillians ever. OK break out the crazy pills I was officially losing my mind.

One long cold shower later and I enter my room to find Bella curled up on my bed and my heart did this flippy thing that was in no way familiar to me but I was tired and I just wanted this day from hell to end so I laid next to her and tried to fall asleep. I was just about to go meet the sandman when I heard Bella calling Emmett's name in a low moaning voice. What the fuck was going on in her dream was she having sex dreams about Emmett. I was caught between laughing out loud or throwing up in my mouth but I shook it off and went to sleep ,I'd talk to her tomorrow about this in detail but I really needed to say goodbye to a rather stressful day.

BPOV

I waited until I was sure he was fast asleep to giggle. Edward didn't have a clue what I had in store for him for tomorrow I was so going to totally own his ass and I could hardly wait. I Bella Marie Swan was going to school Edward Anthony Cullen on the art of revenge and I'm going to love every minute of it. I was taught by the best I know but the best was going down tomorrow and he wasn't going to like it one bit.

Let the games begin I thought with a smile moving closer to a sleeping Edward and snuggling into his arms.

EPOV

I woke up to the radio blasting and the sun coming from my window that was partially open, it was eight thirty am and I was well rested and relax and my bed was empty which ment that Bella had gone down to breakfast already.I'd better get a move on before those fuckers ate everything but first I needed to go to the bathroom which was down the hall God I missed my apartment. As I got closer to the bathroom I heard muffled moans and groans and to say I was shock would have been an understatement . What the fuck someone was having sex at 8:30 am please dear God let it not be mom that would fuck me up for life. I was shocked, I was curious but mostly I was just annoyed this was not how I wanted to spend my morning as I turned to leave I heard a husky voice yelling Emmett's name and that's when my world came crashing down because I knew that voice and there was no fucking way was this happening. I was livid was my best friend and my brother having sex behind this door most likely and I wasn't having it .

Fuck no not my Bella my sweet innocent Bella getting taken advantage off by my horny brother and that's when I saw red and stopped thinking and crashed my lanky body into the locked bathroom rendering it unlocked and most likely broken. So there I stood with my hands around Emmett's neck demanding an explanation and Bella pounding on my back to let Emmett go and soon the room was filled with voices all shouting for me to get a grip and Bella taking my hand and shouting that it wasn't what it looked like and then I realised that she was fully clothed and maybe she was right so I unhanded a smug looking Emmett and turned the full extent of my angry glaze on Bella. "Explain now " I muttered . " Emmett was giving me a foot massage " she said look at the foot massage and the foot spa in the corner of the bathroom "why what did you think we were doing" she finished with a fake innocent smile on her face.

Oh fuck I've been had, this was all staged to make me look like an idiot and there was my mom shooting daggers at me before informing me that I'd be fixing the bathroom door today and while I was at it she had some other house hold task that she needed assistance with. My brain was slowly coming back to life after my caveman antics took over a few minutes ago. Bella was still smiling at me and yes payback was a fucking bitch named Bella and I just knew I had created a monster.


	7. Chapter 7 Two can play that game

BPOV

What's going on on the floor?  
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore  
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?  
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance  
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth, oh oh oh-oh  
How'd I turn my shirt inside out? Inside outright  
Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say  
And we're all getting hosed tonight, oh oh oh-oh

What's going on on the floor?  
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore  
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?  
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance  
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

God could my day get any better Revenge was sweet , the boys were out and Alice and I were in tank tops and shorts jumping on the bed dancing and laughing to Lady Gaga shoveling heaping scoops of ice cream into our mouths now this was bliss.

I wasn't naive enough to think that this was the end, I know Edward was planning to retaliate because the word truce wasn't in his dictionary but was it worth it damn right it was that fucker got what was coming to him and then some.

So here we were enjoying our victory as long as we could until the idiot aka my best friend comes to rain on my parade what a party pooper I sighed .

" Bella he's back" yelled Alice and we both scurried to turn down the music and put away the ice cream before "the emotionally retarded one" aka Edward entered the house. I had to take a second in the mirror to try and achieve a remorseful face but I still looked smug so I frantically tried to think of somber thoughts oh fuck I was screwed he'd take one look at my face and know that I was not sorry and then he's plan the sickest most evil plan he could think of to get back at me and I wasn't ready for that. "Alice help I need to look remorseful " I whispered as she raced around the room getting Edward's room back in order. "OK OK Remember after Tanya dumped him and he was in his room for almost a week just staring at the wall with those sad green eyes and you just wanted to just hug him and tell him that life was going to be ok that he'd survive the she bitch but he wouldn't let any of us in, he just kept staring at that wall and it made us all feel helpless and sad because that fucking bitch broke him into a million pieces and we didn't know how to put him together again or if we ever could" said Alice in one breath . I was in awe that Alice always knew exactly what I needed yeah I could never forget that it broke my heart just thinking about the plague that was Tanya. " So do I look remorseful " I asked Alice as she stared at me and stared messing up my hair that I had earlier untangled . "yeah just one more thing we need tears Bella ,Tears will totally fuck him over he doesn't like to see you cry"Alice replied giving me a kick in the shins and I was thinking what the fuck is up with Alice trying not to yell because Edward was making his way up stairs and and I could already hear his footsteps in the corridor." That's much better remember she bitch broke his heart and you'll be cool later Bella" She whispered as she left the room just as Edward entered.

Oh fuck if looks could kill I'd be dead now Edward wasn't happy and I had an academy award to win so Act 1 Scene 2 ACTION !!

EPOV

I had just spent a total of four hours shopping with my mother as punishment for breaking down the bathroom door now If I thought Alice was bad she had nothing on Esme . She went fucking psyched shop retail on my ass it was a nightmare and a side of my mother I didn't want to see ever again . She even bought me underwear can you even imagine how fucked up that is I am a twenty four year old med student at the top of my class and a notorious ladies man and my mother just bought me sponge bob boxers because she thought they were cute. I had been forced to get a manicure, pedicure and a fucking facial so colour me pissed because I felt like if I was the brand new owner of a vagina and I wasn't happy about it.

I know who was to blame and I was going to fucking kill her I thought as I navigated the stairs two at a time and flew down the corridor to my room in time to see Alice leaving and fixed Bella with my death stare.

I took a little time to look her over her hair was a mess as if she'd been running her fingers through them for hour , she had tears in her eyes and looked like she was trying not to break down crying at any moment now ok this wasn't what I was expecting. Did something happen while we were gone what the fuck did I miss.

Smug Bella I could deal with that's who I was expecting to meet today she'd just pulled of a A plus worthy prank on the king of pranks and I wanted to rip her to shreds for fucking with me that way but sad tearful Bella broke my heart every time and I was now speechless and my anger and animosity were now on the back burner. "Bella what's wrong " I asked moving closer to her and taking her into my arms. I'm sorry Edward,I'm sorry for this morning it was childish and immature and I regret it can you find it in your heart to forgive me I let my anger get the best of me and friends don't do that to friends and I'm so so sorry " She said whimpering into my shoulder as I ran my hand up and down her back to soothe her. Oh my god did she think I was an idiot ,I mean come on I know her better than she knows herself most days and I know without a doubt that this was an acted. I has to try really hard to keep from laughing as I thought back to her saying " friends don't do that to friends " what the fuck we did that everyday and twice on Sundays. She totally messed up with that line and she didn't even know it but I'd play along for now.

"It's OK Bella I guess I had it coming you want to call a truce "I inquired as she gave me a teary nod. Truce was she buying this I mean come on I'm the king of mean truce isn't in my vocabulary but revenge was yeah revenge was one of my favorite words and I used it often and with great joy. I was a master in the art of revenge I had my black belt and everything that's why people didn't mess with me because payback was a bitch but if Bella wanted to play with the big boys then she'd have to take the consequence. Emmett too that fucker was only to happy to help her, I wonder if the both of them had something going on. I mean my own brother but I'm going to get back at him too see if he likes a day of shopping with Mumsy while I'm at it, yeah Emmett was going down Esme style and then some. Bella oh my Bella for you I have something special planned and it's too easy fuck she brought it on herself really by pretending to be involved with Emmett and now I was going to be bring down the fury of Rosalie Hale on her ass because Rosalie has had a thing for Emmett since we were kids and we all knew it well except for Emmett. I mean god sometimes he was so dense but first rule of friendship and even I know that you don't go after your girl's man even if it was only fictional I was going to make this fiasco real and Bella would have to deal with it and some. Two can play this game and Bella was getting served tonight just she didn't know it yet. I had to smile yes I had it figured out sometime between being in the changing room trying on skinny jeans for my mother and the pedicure but I had bigger fish to fry now. We had company for dinner and it was not going to be good for our digestion. Tanya and Bella's parents were coming to dinner and it would be tough on the both of us but it was to leave the past behind, Time to confront Tanya now that there was no love lost between us this should be interesting well that is what I've been telling myself but what ever gets me to that point I'm riding it. I just had to convince Bella that she should too.

Plus the funeral was tomorrow and we were both in serious denial still pretending that Adam wasn't the reason we were back here, that Adam wasn't really gone but he was and we would be forced to face it tomorrow. I don't know how to prepare for that how do you tell your oldest and dearest friend goodbye and actually mean it. I love Adam like a brother and death didn't change that but knowing that I'd never see him again, talk to him again ,laugh with him again was painful to comprehend so for now we were the pretenders going back to our routine like nothing happened but knowing in the back of our heads that it did and we'd never truly be the same a part of us was gone and we couldn't get it back. To pretend it wasn't missing was a survival tool but it didn't prevent you from feeling the loss of it.

I placed a kiss on her forehead and buried my face in her hair she always smelled so good "can we talk for a little bit about the funeral and dealing with your parents for a bit tell them how they make you feel like your never good enough " I said and I felt her stiffen in my arms "come on Bella we all have to face our demons and it's time you stop being mad at your parents they love you"I pleaded my hands stroking her back trying to calm her,my head still buried in her hair. "Yeah Edward they love me but not as much as they love Tanya,I'm like the step-child " She mumbled and that's what it all came down to Tanya our shared demon her cousin and my first love. I leaned away from her to see into her eyes"We'll face this together ok they're coming over for dinner tonight" I said. " Edward I can't do this I'm not ready yet I'm still dealing with Adam leaving us and I just can't deal right now" she muttered but not looking me in the eyes. I gave her a little hug I knew this had to be hard for her but it was necessary. "Bella you can handle this your a computer wizz kid making mad money and your not even twenty five yet, you own a house and a car that you paid for on your own what's there not to be proud of " I asked as I tried to tuck back a piece of hair that had fallen onto her face. "I'm proud of you so very proud if I've never said it before I'm saying it now. I love you and I can never imagine a world without you in it so if your parents don't want to forgive you for leaving here then you've always got me you know that right and my family loves you if you ever want to be adopted let Esme know she'll have that paper work done so fast it'll have your head spinning " I chuckled and she laughed along with me the tension broken . "So Bella friends don't do that to friends huh you know you fucked up with that right I mean you had me totally eating out of your hands up till then but it doesn't matter your still going to get it but I'll give you an A for effort" I said with a smirk on my face as she gave me the deer in headlights look. I'll have to admit I was a bad influence on this girl she use to be so naive now she was almost as manipulative as me and I was so proud at least I knew if any of her boyfriends fucked up she'd have that fucker for dinner and want desert. My baby was becoming a woman it took her long enough I mean she was twenty four but better late than never. I pitied the fucker who crossed her they'd never see it coming.

" So how was shopping with Esme" she asked with a smug look on her face as she left my arms to go lie on the bed but never taking her eyes of me.

"Hell in a hand basket and then some I think I have a vagina now " I said as she clutch her sides laughing. "Yeah Bella really funny like I need this right now" I sighed as I joined her on the bed where she gave me a tight hug and told me she loved me awe but I was still getting back at her love or no love that shit was foul I mean my own brother I thought shaking my head as I played with Bella's hair.

We fell into a comforting silence this was the calm before the storm for us we needed time with our own thoughts to think of the best way to cope with tonight.

( 4 hours later)

BPOV

Ok I'm not going to panic everything is going to be ok, everything is going to be ok, what the fuck am I saying nothing is ever ok it's us for Christ sake. Edward has been a very bad influence on my vocabulary that asshole had me swearing like a sailor I use to be such a nice girl way back when before the Cullens before Tanya's parents died and my parents adopted her I didn't even know what fuck was now it was a verb ,an adjective and a fucking noun.

Everything is going to be ok they are just your parents and you've done nothing wrong besides go away to college against their wishes and stop taking their phone calls. Ok that was not helping got to find Edward so he could give me a pep talk or a Xanax whatever.

Oh fuck was that the doorbell. I stood there like an idiot wondering if I had the guts to open the door and then I felt his hand on my back pushing me towards the door whispering in my ear that he was right there and it would be alright only then did I start to achieve the calm I had been trying for for the last few minutes thank you Edward I said moving away from him to answer the door with my fake smile plastered over my face I was ready well as ready as I'd ever be let's get this show on the road.

I open the door to see my parents and Tanya. Charlie looked uncomfortable to say the least and well Renee was Renee I guess she had a huge smile on her face and tears in her eyes like if she hadn't just seen me one days ago, I had to try not to roll my eyes.

Tanya was there but she wasn't looking at me, she was looking over my shoulder to Edward eye fucking him. Wow what a bitch she broke his heart and she's coming back for more and if I know anything about my cousin it's that she doesn't take no for an answer.

Ok Bella don't panic everything is going to be ok Edward can handle this , I hope to fuck Edward could handle this because I couldn't be his wing man tonight I had my own problems and his name is Charlie.

"Well come on in " I said with my fake smile still in place it was beginning to hurt my face but that was the least of my worries.

I lead them to the living room and excused myself to check on dinner as I entered the kitchen Alice pulled me into a hug and asked if I was ok. "Alice we have problems Tanya wants to get into Edward's pants again and i don't know if he's strong enough to say no and mean it so we need to distract her" I whispered trying not to panic. I heard the doorbell ringing again so I left Alice and made my way to the front door to see Jasper and Rosalie standing there. "Since when do you knock" I asked with a smile so very glad to see them.

" We don't, we just thought we'd try something new" answered Jasper with a smile leaning in to give me a hug. "Edward said you needed some support with Sargent Pepper" Rosalie laughed using the name we use to call my father when we were kids.

"I sure do plus Tanya is here but a minute and she's eye fucked Edward twice already. Well come on in you beautiful people" I smiled waving my hands to show them where to go as if they hadn't been here already. " Your just saying that because we're saving your ass from the po po aka Charlie " Jasper laughed and we all burst out laughing and that's how Edward found us. "Great" he stated " your all here laughing it up and I'm caught between the Devil aka Charlie and a hard place aka Tanya in the living room needless to say I am not pleased" He finished with a frown. I gave his a light hug and enquired as to how he was holding up and he said as well as it was to be expected.

We all entered the living room together under the heavy stares of my parents. God give me strength.


	8. Chapter 8 Here we go again

BPOV

I needed a drink and not a beer either I needed hard liquor to get me to the end of this hell on earth that is dinner with the parents.

The conversation was non existent and my father kept staring at me as if I had something on my face but I didn't I checked like three times so I was slowly going crazy sitting here pretending my parents weren't there. God it was tedious sitting and of course to make it worse Edward was wearing the I'm so going to fuck with you face and that has never been a good thing. Rose and Alice were seated on either side of Tanya mainly because we didn't want her anywhere near Edward the down side of this plan being the fucker was now free to mess with me at his will. "So how about those Red Sox" shouted Emmett as if he was suffering from tourette obviously cracking under the pressure of the tense silence. I couldn't help it I burst out laughing it was so random and totally an Emmett like thing to say and I guess Esme,Alice,Edward,Jasper and Rose agreed with me because they were all laughing too. " Yeah how about those Red Sox Dad" I laughed but my father was giving me a death glare that had nothing to do with baseball.

" So Bella are you and Emmett together or is it just a physical thing because what I walked in on this morning looked intense" Edward said giving me his most innocent face fuck yeah he had me , no question about it every pair of eyes were now on me. God how do I get my ass out of this one I thought as I cleared my throat thinking up the best way to defuse this situation but Emmett answered for me

" Edward you know nothing is going on with Bella and I your just mad she messed with you this morning forgive my brother he's delusional " Emmett smiled at me. God I want to marry Emmett and have his babies but then again Rosalie would shoot me damn that would be a short romance. I was so relieved that I didn't have to stutter my way out of that one that was close Eddie monster was coming out to play and I didn't like it. I took a drink of water to compose myself and decide what I was going to say now but the water found itself onto the table with my father's first sentence of the night. "I was under the impression that Bella and Edward were together " Charlie said with a confused face. "Dad Edward and I aren't nor have we ever been together why would you even say that? " I asked know I wasn't going to like the answer when he shot a glance Tanya's way. I turn to give her a glare now it all made sense somewhat why Charlie was acting the way he was. They thought Edward and I are together and that was the reason I don't come home.

I'd find this funny but I was to busy being pissed off to find the humor. I wanted to tear Tanya's head off for poisoning my parents against me and angry at myself for not seeing this before. I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward's angry voice "Tanya what did you tell them" He asked in a clipped voice that he only used when he was very angry giving her a death glare but it didn't seem to faze her one bit because she kept on eating as if he had asked her how the weather was while we all waited for her to reveal what she'd done . "Nothing much Eddie just told them that I thought that Bella moved to New York with you because you guys were together" Tanya answered with a smile.

"Tanya you know Bella and I have never been together in fact when we left for college we were barely friend thank much in part to you " said Edward foaming at the mouth that fucker went from playful a second ago to full out I want to murder this bitch, talk about mood swings have I mentioned that my best friend was crazy,He looked like he wanted to tackle her at any moment now as fun as that would be I had to stop it from happening.

"Can we not do this right now please Tanya I'm sure Edward will have some choice words for you later but for now can we get back to dinner" yelled Alice followed by a "Praise the Lord" from Rosalie and an "Amen" from Jasper. Speaking of God Esme do you know that Edward is getting into religion lately. Alice and I spent the night over there recently an we were awoken to him praying loudly" I stated trying my hardest not to burst out laughing catching Alice's mischievous glance

"Yes mother and sometime he has prayer meetings at home they're very loud and vocal about their love of God and what not " Alice muttered while Jasper,Rosalie and I tried to hold our laughter in and Edward covers his face with his hands. "I'll have to disagree somewhat with those statement I happen to have a very good friend name Caesar who is very charismatic if I may say so and he's gathered a following and sometimes I let him use my apartment as a meeting place. What is there a crime against being nice to christens in this house" He asked looking shocked and a bit irritated. "No brother dear nothing is wrong with being nice to people but are you sure Caesar is a christian because I'll have to say I'm shocked to hear of it" Alice smiled. Oh my god and like that the table was calm again nothing like a little bullshit to get this crowd going that is until

Esme asked who Caesar was and we all start laughing well except the parents and Alice informed her that Caesar was a little friend of Edwards who lived in the building need less to say Edward didn't like Caesar being called little and insisted that Caesar was huge and that people said so all the time much to the confusion of the parents.

"Mom are you aware that Alice has a rabbit at her apartment " Edward asked with a devilish grin while Alice choked on her dinner. " Yeah mom it's the cutest thing ever it's like it vibrates when it's happy you should see it" He laughed while Alice face took on a bright red colour . "Alice do they allow pets in your building?" Esme inquired not picking up the hidden conversation we were having or that the rabbit in question was a vibrator and Edward really was an ass to even bring it up. but I guess we did push him but must he always rise to the bait I mean the term _letting it slide _was wasted on him.

" So Edward about the bunny does Alice play with it often "asked Jasper followed with Rose giving him a swift slap behind his head. "hey it's just a question it's not like you guys weren't thinking the same thing" he said with a shrug. "Mom can we leave the table now I'm done unless Edward has something else to say" She glared at him. "No I'm good Ali but thank for asking little sis" He said with a smile.

I gave Edward's leg a kick under the table because he was being a dick as usual and now Alice was hurt , he was such an asshole sometimes it wasn't as if he didn't know Alice had a thing for Jasper since we were kids to say something like that in front of him was just cruel and he knew it very well it was just at that moment he didn't care. "Way to go big brother " I whispered as he glared at me as if to say mind your own business Bella. "Go fix it " I demanded getting angry so I kicked him again while he glared at me but I was not backing down this was Alice.

Saying something wrong in the heat of things was one thing but trying to pretend what you said to someone wasn't cruel is something different and it wasn't going to fly with me and he knew it so after glaring at me for five minutes he got up and went after Alice like the nice guy he was underneath the asshole, the emo and the emotionally retarded . It was time I rewarded myself with that drink I had a feeling I'll be needing it.

EPOV

Ok sorry isn't a word I use often it almost impossible for me to utter the word but I've found myself saying it to damn much lately maybe I was going soft or Alice and Bella have stolen my balls or something. Bella was making me grow a vagina soon I'd be getting pms and crying all the time.

I had done worse than this to both of them and never said sorry like that time they came to soccer try outs and Alice when all goo goo eyes over this guy,I didn't think much of it because come on any guy who valued their nuts would mess with my sister or my best friend,

My reputation always proceeded me that way and I was glad for it if I had my way they'd both be well into their twenties still virgins but this asshole had the bright idea to ask Alice out on a date and I had to show him who Edward Cullen really was and you don't mess with a Cullen unless you wanted to get fucked so to make a long story short I did my homework and found out that the asshole had a sister small world isn't it.

ok so obviously I made my play for the sister now I didn't really like the girl not that she wasn't cute but it's like chess she was just a pawn and when I play I play to win that fucker never saw it coming that is until he saw me with his sister and I checkmated his ass.

Awe those were the days now they wanted to tell you about being a cock block and giving them space and all that jazz could we go back to the good old days when a guy could have his cake and eat it too.

Now I'm just the asshole not even that clever asshole just an ass who has said to much and now I've got to say sorry. I had made my way upstairs and knocked on the door Alice open up I'm an ass let's discuss my assine behavior in the same room open the door please. I breathed a sigh of relief when she opened the door.

" Look I'm an ass ok I know it you know it fuck the world knows it but your my baby sis and I don't think Jasper is a good idea he's almost as big a man whore as I am so please don't go there because then I'd have to fuck Rosalie to get back at him and that won't help anybody" I said as I looked at her face from across the room.

She crosses the room and comes to sit next to me and I put my arms around her and kissed her forehead and we sit like this for a while just in a comfortable silence and then Alice had to go fuck it up by mumbling some shit about how she was an adult and the shit I could have pulled before won't work now and when she decided to go after Jasper (yeah you heard me not if or maybe there, it was WHEN) needless to say Jasper is now on my hit list right next to Jacob the jackass.

I zone out when she starts talking about needing space and living her life and wanting to find love and what not it was like the Bella lecture all over again except Alice was a bit more angry. I wonder how to get rid of this infatuation with Jasper,He's one of my oldest friends and I loved him like a brother but not enough to stand aside while he made a play for Alice no that wouldn't do at all.

Calm down I told myself I don't think Jasper has feelings for the little pixie well not those kind of feelings at least more like my other little sister kind of feelings yeah I could live with that for now but I'd be keeping a close eye on him when he moved to New York that's for fucking sure. I stopped my inner monologue and tune back in to I am woman hear me roar by Alice Cullen with back up from Bella fucking Swan.

One long conversation and a trip to the kitchen to get a shot of tequila because god knows I needed it. I had a talk with Tanya in my future and it wouldn't be pretty. Isn't it funny that I still had feelings for Tanya after she did the tango on my heart and was totally fucking up my best friend's life and I should be totally angry but weird as it may be I was still totally attracted to her. What was my problem really how many times can one person rip out your heart before you know you've had enough . It's not like I didn't know the bitch was poison and she'd fucking eat me alive if I gave her a chance. God I was an ass if I was going to fall for her charms another time and God really had to have a sense of humor because I've lost count of the number of conquest I've attained over the year but there was only one who had actually reached my heart that I'd seen myself with for the long haul and she'd fucked it up royally and now I had to act unaffected and have a normal conversation with her. _Fucking hell !_

Here goes nothing I walk onto the balcony and there she is staring at me like I'm an open book that she's read already but would love to review again and again and again. Fuck! ok I need to stop doing that or Caesar will be running the show and we know how that's going to turn out .

I smiled and said hi and she moves forward and envelopes me into a hug and I feel like I'm home and this is where I'm meant to be and It brings back memories of entwined legs and moans and oh no Caesar is up. " Hi Edward It's been to long" Tanya whispers into my ear she pulls back from my arms and licks her lips in anticipation while she eye fucks me. I can't breathe,I can't breathe she's caught me and I'm falling all over again and she knows it ,she knows my body there is no use in denying it my body craved hers.

" Tanya I think you have a lot of explaining to do and I suggest you get to that before you start seducing me, I know and you know I want to bend you over and fuck your lights out but we need to have this conversation first" I said with a smile on my face and I know she wet and waiting for me just like old times. I'm grin in anticipation the make up sex was going to be amazing.

Bella was going to fucking kill me for this but there was some things that couldn't be denied and this was one of them she'd just have to deal, it was just sex it's not like I was pinning my life on her like I did before I just wanted to plunge into her ,fucking cum and make her forget her name does that make me the bad guy.

OK ok talk now sex later. let's get my priorities straight that bitch need to explain the shit she's done. I'm cool I can do this I think as I wait for her to formulate the best way to start.


	9. Chapter 9

BPOV

I needed coffee my brain is a mess and I'm not really a morning person, fuck that I'm not a (I have a funeral to go to today and I haven't had enough sleep and I'm about to lose it ) person but I can't really go back to bed now can I. I needed to get it together for Adam because I'd been a shitty friend to him these last couple of months and he'd deserve better. I was going to say goodbye today and deal with my regrets later.

I mumbled good morning to a smiling Alice and a sleepy Emmett. Whoa rewind does Alice really need to be this peppy in the morning it was totally annoying. "Whose making breakfast " I mumbled and they both looked at me like I had the energy to even pick up a skillet right now.

I heard a whistle behind me and noticed Edward showered and dressed carrying a donut box. I'm saved I don't have to go fight the stove my darling best friend has brought breakfast ."Thank the lord "I mumbled and give him a hug in thanks while he buries his nose in my hair and hugs me back. "Am I hate to break up the love fest but where have you been Edward you obviously didn't sleep here last night and come to think of it your a worst morning person than Bella not to mention --" STOP STOP would you just stop, GOD a guy can't just do something nice for his family without getting the third degree" Edward fumed.

My sleep induced fog starts to lift and it's plain to see that something is up with Edward and I guess I'm not the only one who's observant because Emmett is grinning like he's the cat who stole the canary or something. I'm feeling like I'm not grasping the point as I should so I give Edward a once over while he's eating a cinnamon powdered donut and I never get a chance to finish. " Why do you have that freshly fucked look on your face brother dear and who really can we thank for these donuts" Emmett asked wickedly and the coffee that Edward was sipping is everywhere and the shit starts to get interesting because it's obvious to see that Edward Cullen is guilty if the spilled coffee wasn't a dead give away he's now this insane colour pink.

I'm in awe I've never seen him blush and it's really the cutest thing ever. I start to wonder who the girl is and I'm drawing a blank because I hadn't seen him with anyone since we've been here. I know he didn't sleep with random girls and I'm suddenly not smiling anymore because I know it's Tanya I don't know how I know it I just do and I'm disappointed and angry and I just need to get as far away from him right now as possible because I couldn't do this now not today.

I look into his eyes and he knows I know and his eyes pleads with me to stay and hear him out but it's to late and I've had enough today and I flee past the confused eyes of Alice and the understanding eyes of Emmett and the fucking betrayer himself and I don't have words. I make it up the stairs and close the door behind me trying to calm down and the tears descend and I really should have seen this coming but I didn't , we are right back where we started after all this time thanks to I can't keep it in my pants Cullen.

APOV

"What the fuck just happened here?" I blurted out I can't help it. It's like a rerun of a bad foreign soap opera and I don't have the subtitles so I don't know shit about the plot line but so help me I was going to find out. Bella just ran out the room like someone died and someone (Edward) was going to explain why. Edward turns and looks at me with sad eyes that are beginning to tear up and he's holding his head in his hands and I know that whatever it is, it's his fault and I want to help but I don't even know what he's done now and if he could fix it.

"Go talk to her you're not going to get her to forgive you but you can explain how it happened" Emmett said while giving Edward a pat on the back " You really fucked up this time bro but I'm not going to kick you while your down, go work it out and I'll explain it all to Alice and keep her restrained while you deal with Bella" I was wondering restrained what the fuck was up with these people, it was to early in the morning for this shit.

Edward stormed out of the room and I fixed my glare on Emmett,I had enough with being the idiot in the room I needed some details now.

"Emmett what the fuck is going on" I shouted "Edward slept with Tanya last night " He answered and I'm in shock how could he be so stupid she cheated on him and broke his heart and he goes back to her after all that. How could he do that after all the things she'd done to Bella. I'm afraid that their friendship may not be able to take this and we're about to lose Bella again . I so want to rip Edward apart right now for being so stupid but I'd seen his face he's hurt to,he knows their friendship may not survive this and the fucker did it anyway.

EPOV

How have I fucked this up, hold on let me count the ways. Here I was standing on the wrong side of my bedroom door asking Bella to let me in not really sure I wanted to go in if I'm to be honest. I had some major explaining to do and I hated to see her cry , to see her sad and to know that I was the fool who caused it. I'm sorry that I'm a man and sometimes my dick does my thinking and I end up hurting the ones I love but what's done is done. I just wanted to explain to her that this meant nothing Tanya means nothing to me,I just fucked her I'm not in love with the whore or anything. We're just very good in bed together nothing much not like I'm commented to her or we're getting married or something.

I know I should give her some space ,give her time and all that crap but I'm afraid that after the funeral she'll go back to New York without me and cut me out of her life and I'll never get to right this ,to make it up to her. I can never see my life without Bella in it , the last time I was the one who let her go for Tanya and I wasn't me without her it was like I was watching on the sidelines while someone else did those things.

I know life without Bella wasn't an option for me. Life without Bella was one of my greatest fears she's my rock ,she always was and I'm not going to lose her again even if I was a complete fucking asshole and didn't deserve her.

"Bella please let me in I'm sorry I fucked up but I couldn't seem to help myself she still has power over me and I hate to admit it but I'm powerless to stop it from happening again,I need you to keep her as far away from me as possible" I sighed "Bella let me in please I'm not afraid of to many things but I'm terrified of losing you let me explain, let me grovel, fuck let me beg even just don't leave me,I can't do that a second time " I'm standing with my head on the door hoping she'll open it so I can fix this but all I get is silence and I'm shaking because I've fucked up and she not going to forgive me.

I'm aware that Emmett is standing down the corridor giving me sympathetic looks . I don't need sympathy I don't deserve it ,it's all my fault it's always my fault I always fuck things up with her.

I'm in the middle of having my mini break down when the door opens and I stumble and fall flat on my back glazing up at swollen eyed Bella and It breaks my heart ,I'm drowning in the pain of regret and her face says it all. I don't have words I'm just glazing up at her surveying the damage I've done. "I love you" I mumbled, it's all I'm thinking and it seems Emmett isn't the only Cullen with tourette.

BPOV

Yes my Darling best friend in a world far far away I love you's could maybe fix this but not here. I love you's here just get your angry best friend more annoyed because you love me but you did it anyway. You know Tanya can crush your heart and you do it anyway is the sex really that good that you'd do anything ,give up anything for it. I find myself filled with anger at the situations I always seem to find myself in with Edward. Fuck! would it be so hard for us to be normal is that too much to ask. "Edward can we put this on the back burner until at least after the funeral please my bullshit quota is full but you've on my list for tomorrow if that's ok with you, by then I hope Caesar can get his story together" I say as I throw him out of the room once more and he's still in shock or something because he's oddly silent.

"And by the way I love you too but I don't go around fucking with our friendship for a piece of ass" I yell "now there is something to think about " I'm fuming as I slam the door at a still stunned Edward now that's not something you see everyday now is it .

Am I over reacting I mean it's his heart, it's his life but does he even know how hard it is for me to see him hurt and be unable to do anything about it. Does he really expect me to do that again sit on the sidelines while he gets his heart broken and then help him pick up the pieces. Why can't he be able to resist her and find someone who can actually love him back someone who will love him enough not to break his heart.

I don't have the energy for this I'm just going to keep repeating to myself that it's his life and if he want to go fuck it up that's his business.

I lay on my bed well Edward's bed and ponder the situation and how it was like when they were together. I wonder if it's going to be like that again if I can handle Edward spending less time with me because Tanya's insecure or us fighting over the next dumb ass thing she says to me. God it feels like we've come so far to turn back but he's willing to turn back for Tanya. He's willing to risk it all again .

Maybe we've underestimated how much his feelings are invested. Is he still in love with her ? Maybe he's always been in love with her and that's why he can't let anyone else in. Damn that's a scary thought.

I lose track of time I just know I've been here a while and I need to start getting ready for the funeral and I need to start letting Edward go. I love him, He's my best friend and nothing or no one is going to change that but I need him to figure out these questions for himself. If she's the love of his life and the one person who makes him happy can I really stand in the way because I'm afraid of losing him.

Edward is the most revengeful person I know and Tanya cheated on him and he's done nothing not then and not now.

Maybe he does love her and I'm the one standing in the way because he feels like he has to choose between us . I just want him to be happy isn't that what everyone wants for the one's they love . I just want him to be happy with whoever makes him happy and if that person turns out to be Tanya so be it . He'll still be my best friend and my brother just I may see less of him I'd have to say goodbye to 1:00 am phone calls but I'd get over it. I wonder how good Emmet is at giving advice at 1:00 am .

I start getting dressed I've ran out of time to wallow in self pity at the fate of our friendship, we're not seventeen anymore.

Obviously Edward is pulling out the big guns because I can hear Ray Lamontagne's Forever my friend playing downstairs and I just love Ray and Edward knows it.

_Who am I to tell her  
Who am I to play god  
Who am I to think I can go it alone  
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down  
Something tells me this is bringing me down  
We've been through some changes  
Always seem to hold on  
Lately it feel like you can't take anymore  
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down  
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down  
_

_Forever my friend  
Forever my love  
Forever the woman that I'm thinking of  
I just think if we keep our hearts together  
Just think if we build on this trust that we have for one another  
Baby we can make this last a lifetime_

I find that I'm no longer angry , I'll have to have fate that he'll make the right decisions with Tanya and realize that she's not the one

and as much as I'd like to be the mom and tell him he needs to end it, I can't because it's his life and maybe I'm wrong and Tanya isn't the Anti Christ. I don't know I just don't know.

I guess the bitch is back bring on the funeral I need something I can cry over without the anger.


	10. Chapter 10

**EPOV**

I remember the first and only time I gave up on my friendship with Bella and though I'll never totally admit it , I realized that I could not cut her out of my life because somewhere along the line she became a part of me and there was no going back.

I walked around like a zombie feeling numb inside, not really caring about what was going on in my world it just didn't matter much to me anymore. I choose Tanya because I thought I was in love and after awhile she'd get over her jealous feelings for Bella and I could have the best of both worlds the woman of my dreams and my best friend. Losing Bella was the hardest thing because you never know what you've got until it's gone and by the time I' realized I'd made this huge mistake and I'd pick the wrong girl she wasn't taking my calls and she was leaving for New York.

I couldn't fix it, My best friend my living breathing conscious was moving away and I remember the last words I said to her "I love you but I need some time apart to figure this out." Ha I've had nightmares featuring those words I broke apart a friendship of five year for some ass had I really been that dumb but to be fair I always thought that there was more to Tanya and I than sex . I still think there is more to Tanya and I than sex but am I foolish enough to give up a third of my heart to figure out what the "more that sex " is NO never again.

I know the reason Tanya cheated on me was because I couldn't get over Bella . I may not understand a lot of things about that female but I'd know revenge anywhere after all it's one of my favorite pass times. So Boys and Girls the moral of this story is DON'T BANG SLUTS they rip out your heart and eat it for breakfast but not really the moral is don't leave what you have to go searching for what you may never find and the cost of this lesson was a hole in a friendship and I still did not get the girl it figures .

All in All I can safely say in the future I'll be banking on friendship but obviously I haven't made those thoughts clear enough because Bella is upstairs crying because she thinks she'll lose me again and I'm downstairs like a dope wondering why the fuck can't I keep it in my pants.

Thanks Caesar you always get us in trouble if you didn't make me feel so good I'd ship you off somewhere and invest in a vagina.

I was awaken from my mini dialog by a sharp slap at the back of my head and turned to see an Angry Alice . "You had to go fuck it up again didn't you ' She screeched. I had nothing to say I rest my head against the cold kitchen counter and decides to zone out of Alice's much and I do mean much to loud rant (Edward is a dick Vol 1 Episode 20) Get your popcorn people it's going to be a good one not that I was paying much attention. I get it ok I suck, I get it really I do.

And if that isn't enough in walks Ken and Barbie Hale aka Jasper and Rose. Yeah for me ! So not my morning .

" Hey what's with the yelling " Jasper asked " are you guy ready yet " and just like that the bride of chucky goes from mad as hell to flirty in less that a min and I'm thankful trust me I'm thankful but I've still keeping my eyes on Jasper. " So what's up ?" drawled Jasper

" Nothing much Edward slept with Tanya, Bella won't come out of his room and Emmett is getting dressed as we speak" She prattled off .

The room is silent as they digest this new titbit of information but mercifully they say nothing. Bella walks down the stairs and I'm so happy just to see her just to know that I'll get a chance to talk it out with her and hopefully work it out. " Can I talk to you alone for a min " She inquires and I'm like the village idiot because I can't even open my mouth to say yes and I'm left to shake my head as I get up and go outside with her.

As I follow her to the back yard I can't help but be a little nervous I just hope this works it's self out.

" I think you should give it a chance I know right I can't believe I'm saying this but I think you should give Tanya another chance "

she babbled on as she paced the back lawn and it's one of those moments when you wonder if this is all real or not .

"Who are you and what the fuck have you done with Bella" I gasp to which she suddenly stops her pacing and looks at me.

" Are you fucking crazy why would I go back there,so I fucked her yes I admit it I fucked her but it's what I do it doesn't mean shit are you fucking kidding me " I yelled because I'm suddenly extremely annoyed. I could handle her anger fuck I could handle her scorn at my stupidity, I could even maybe handle her silence but I can't handle whatever the fuck she was trying to do here this unselfish if you love someone let them go crap this is so not us we're revengeful ,loving slightly hateful, spiteful ,very manipulative we don't do selfless well not publicly what the fuck.

Now I feel like the biggest fucking loser ever because she's crying and my heart is in my throat because I'm hurting her and that's never ok .

" I just want you to be happy, I want you to find that person that makes you happy that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with , I want that for you and I've never seen you look at anyone the way you look at Tanya, I've never seen you like that and I think you should think about it ' she mumbled and I can't help it I have to touch her. I enveloped her in a hug,I can't be mad anymore she's always got my best interest at heart . Trust that yeah there maybe more to Tanya and I than sex but I'd rather cut of my right ball aka Brutus than get involved with Tanya again.

" Hey I've always got you and when Jacob gets his head out of his ass long enough to realize that you the best thing that's ever happened to him and makes an honest woman out of you ,I'll be the fucker giving that asshole hell every min of his sorry ass life. I'll be that player uncle next door it'll be great" I say and I'm rewarded with a laugh and a hug "asshole huh? " she asked .

"Yup he's an asshole but that's for another time we've got a funeral to get to let's go" I kiss her forehead and lead her inside crisis averted for now.

( Flashback)

"Hey fucker where have you been I've been looking all over for you " I asked Alex who turns to me and gives me a once over with that look on his face that says should I really tell you your a bit of an asshole sometimes . I get those looks alot , hey I'm being honest I can just pretend I don't know that look but fuck it I am an asshole sometimes. "So are you going to answer or keep eye fucking me " I asked as I look for some juice in the refrigerator .

"I spent the day with Bella and before you asked NO it's not like that we're friends , she's cool" He said as he made himself a sandwich. "So let me get this straight your cheating on me with Bella as in that chick from summer camp " I say as I pour myself some orange juice to which he answered "yes basically but she's so much more than that chick from summer camp she's funny and she's cool and she gives great advice" Please I'm gagging so well date her and get it over with " I said stealing his sandwich. "Dude she's like my sister you don't date a sister " He yelled back. " Well do you mind if I do she's kind of hot " I smiled "Fuck no you are not dating her ever she's better than that " he yelled obviously losing his temper at me much to my amusement. I sat there wondering so what's the deal with this chick how'd she get my best friend wrapped around her finger so quickly . "Hey would you stop yelling at me already you've know this girl one month and you've known me since sperm, I have to be honest with you I think your getting into this to quickly you don't even really know her yet " I said trying to reason with him. "Ha I told you it's not like that she's like my sister and I'd like you to meet her but you can't date her Edward promise me that, it'll be like me dating Alice How fucked up would that be? He ranted " I'm serious though Edward you can't like her she's off limits do you get me" he inquired. "Yeah I got you, sooooooooo when do I meet her?"

(End of Flashback )

Little did I know she'd become like a sister to me too. It's funny how life works out isn't it . Adam was the one who brought us together and now Adam's gone.

I was tired of the crying, I couldn't bear to comfort anyone at the moment ,I needed time alone so I could absorb all that had happened .

I had no words for the funeral I could pretend all I wanted but the funeral was the reality that I didn't want to see and it happened anyway. Adam is gone and no funny limerick or happy song is going to bring him back and we all know it , I stand here among the people I love best in the world and their presence can not save me from the despair from within , I just need some time to myself , I just need space.

I give Bella a kiss on her forehead and tell her I'm going, she knows me well enough not to question it , I hug everyone else Somehow the funeral made me feel closer to them that I had before it's funny that death does that to you makes you want to hold on to the people you've got around you and still I wish all this never happened. I wish I could talk to Adam one more time.

I just buried one of my best friends and I don't know where I go from here. I feel lost and confused ,I don't know how people move on with there lives after death has paid a visit it seems like such a challenge right now. I jump in the car and drive without direction without thought without even realizing where I'm going and I find myself outside a basket ball court Adam and I played on when we were younger and it brings up so many memories that hurt so much. I let the tears come,the tears I've been holding in all day and time passes without me being aware of it until my phone rings. I say hello and it's Bella wanting to know where I am and if I'm ok and I reassure her that I am I just needed time alone with my thoughts. "I love you you know" I say because I'm apparently going soft a side effect of losing Adam it seems, "I love you too even when your being an ass and all I can't help it " she says and I laugh. "Please come home I need you I can't sleep" she pleads and I tell her I'll be there in a few minutes. I guess this is how you move on from death because the other people you love need you to. Bye Adam I love you always you were my best friend , my brother , the bearer of the best advice ever and I never really appreciated you and now it's to late. I took all that we were for granted and now it's all gone . I hope your happy where ever you are. I stand up and made my way back to the car.

( Adam's POV)

We stand in the shadows watching Edward break apart piece by piece knowing I can do nothing, it was the promise I made before I was turned.

I had to give up on my human family and it's eating me up inside but at least I'm getting to see them all one last time before we leave for Rome. I'm so sorry it had to be this way but my time had come it was time for me to join the Volturi .

I know this was equally hard for my companion that he was as hurt as I am to be leaving the family behind and go to Rome but it must be done,we have no choice it is our duty.

I'm choosing duty over family and I know that in my long life ahead I'll look back and regret my decisions but it's the only way.

BPOV

I can't sleep I feel like part of me is missing,I can't seem to turn my brain off to the what if's and maybe's and it's slowly driving me bonkers.

I lay in bed thinking about the past and what I could have done better wondering if it would have made a differences knowing that I'm just hurting myself. I find myself staring at the moon it's oddly calming because the moon doesn't really change does it my life is in limbo and the sky is still the sky the moon is still the moon, it's a reminder that it'll all be ok .

I hear the door open and Edward undresses and gets in bed next to me silently there are no words that can make this alright

for either of us but his presence soothes me and I'm not plague with guilt and questions anymore I hold on to him and breathe him in

and fall asleep in my best friend's arms knowing the morning will be better.


End file.
